Proust Question 1

So the experiment begins.

1. What is your current state of mind?

I've been thinking about that most of the day. I guess the best word I can use at this time is apprehensive. Part of it has to do with taking on this social experiment. Am I will to be honest in my answers to every question? How much do I want to reveal? Where is the line between not enough and too much. It's like realizing at some point in life that you are here because your parents had sex. You know it had to have happened but you really don't want to dwell on the thought. God forbid you ever have to hear the details. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I am, in this case, blissfully ignorant. So, I will share what I think is appropriate. I also understand that there are times that my lovely bride of 43+ years wishes I could or would shut my damn mouth.

My apprehensive nature is not limited to this blog. Our daughter in law is currently in Dallas, Texas at a women's conference. The conference is not what makes me apprehensive. I hope she has a wonderful experience and comes back energized and confident. Travel always concerns me especially when it involves flying in an airplane. I know in my head that air travel is one of the safest forms of transportation. It does not stop that little nagging worry in the background that something could go wrong. My granddaughters need their mother and my son needs his wife.

Owning two houses, as Mike knows, is not the joy everyone thinks it is. When you are in Georgia you worry about the house in Illinois. Is everything okay? Are all the automatic systems like heat working? We will go back there in a few weeks. There are lots of things that need to be done here before we go there. Tomorrow is going to be taken up doing some painting downstairs. I tried to program the sprinkler system last week. I had trouble getting part of it to shut off. The instructions looked simple. Apparently I am simpler than the instructions. I still need to finish cleaning and water sealing the deck. I have some landscaping to do. The list goes on.

Audrey is our granddaughter who is involved in competitive gymnastics. One of the girls her age dislocated her elbow the other night. I know the gym she goes to takes every possible precaution to prevent injury. Everything wasn't enough to prevent this accident. You never want to see or hear about you child or grandchild being injured.

So, after all that I know what I got from my Grandmother Beck. Yes folks, clearly I am a worrier. I fret about things that I cannot change. Such is life. Sometimes even knowing does not lead to progress or change. Seems like in my 60's I'm pretty locked in to how I think and feel.