Ghosts of Christmas Past- Santa Edition

Sometimes you have to play a bigger part in the Christmas season than you are generally comfortable doing. How do you turn down the opportunity to play Santa? In the spirit of the season my older brother Jay and I have both donned the garb and played the part. Regular readers have by now seen enough pictures of our younger brother David to realize he does not have the "full figured" look to pull off an appearance as Santa. I don't know the year Jay played Santa. For me it was 1998. We were foster parents at the time for Victor. The children's Christmas party for the Hill Correctional Center was held at the cinemas in the Sandburg Mall. Carol took Victor in and I showed up in full Santa gear later. Victor kept asking Carol where I was and when he saw "Santa" he told her that "Santa" sounded a lot like Jeff. Sometimes, like kids belief in Santa, you suspend reality even in the face of strong evidence that your belief is wrong. It explains as adults our willingness to buy lottery tickets thinking we will win the big prize.

This is Victor and I at the party. He is telling me what he would like for Christmas. He was a great kid and should have had a better deal in life than he got.

This is me at home before the appearance at the party. All I can say is the fake beard is by far the worst part.

This is me and our fur child at the time Candy Mae. She was a wonderful dog. Unlike Victor she knew who Santa was. Try as you may there is really no fooling a dog's sense of smell.

This is my older brother Jay doing his bit as Santa. I must say he did a fine job.

Santa was putting the moves on Jay's wife Joan.

Maybe those two should have gotten a more private room.

Christmas should be about family and in keeping with that we are going a bit past Santa today. The picture below is of Jay's wife Joan being an elf in one of the living windows in downtown Monmouth. For those from Galesburg who remember that talking Christmas tree in Bergner's. Yep, some years that person hanging out inside the tree talking to you was Joan.

Jay and Joan's daughters Kate and Ellen also got in the act playing parts in the living windows in Monmouth,

Sometimes you get into the spirit of the season so strong that you step out of your personal comfort zone to make to make the holiday special for someone else. It is the true meaning of the season. Doing something for someone else with no expectation of reward or recognition.

Ghosts of Christmas Past- 1981

Once again our family gained a member. In November 1981 we welcomed our youngest child, a son, to the family. This was back in the dark ages when you didn't know if the baby would be a boy or a girl until the birth. Since he was a boy and it appeared that none of my siblings were going to have any more children he was named John. Why John? Perhaps this picture will help explain.

Everyone in this picture is a John Sutor. My Dad, John G Sutor, my Grandfather John J Sutor, my son John D R Sutor and my older brother John Jay Sutor. It made things interesting later when someone would call looking for John Sutor. We would start with what age John Sutor? Things got a bit more complicated because one of my cousins was John M Sutor who was an owner of Consumers Grain and Supply.

In a way 2015 helped me understand 1981. It is because 2015 was the first year we spent away from our children and grandchildren. I understood this picture a bit better.

This is a picture of my Grandparents John and Harriet celebrating Christmas in 1981 in Connecticut. In Illinois they have a daughter, son in law, three grandsons and five great grandchildren. This year I understood the pain of separation. You want to be where you are and you want to be with your children and grandchildren. To the best of my recollection the only Christmas I was with them was the year of my birth 1954. My children and grandchildren never celebrated Christmas with them. I know there were telephone calls, cards and letters exchanged. They are weak substitutes for actually being there. Technology has changed in the last 30+ years and on December 23rd this year we were able, via facetime, to watch our youngest son's three girls open the Christmas gifts we sent them. Was it as good as being there? No. Something is lost along the way. The hugs, the complete scene, the smells, the joy of being together. You live long enough and you get to experience things that show you what is was like for someone else. Joy and happiness can be linked to and experienced at the same time as sadness and separation.

Christmas 1979 and 1980

Christmas has come and gone. Another holiday season is finishing up and a new year will greet us all in a few days. I still have Christmas history to write so we continue on this theme.

The picture above is Jeremy and Tamara preparing for Christmas 1979. Jeremy was a year and a half old for this Christmas celebration. He was a more active participant than the year before. Tamara was 3 years and 3 months of age. At this time that is the only picture I have from that year. If there are more out there I just haven't run across them yet.

This is Christmas 1980 at my Grandparent's home. Carol is clearing rolling her eyes at something ignorant I have said. I seem quite pleased with myself. Note the change in appearance, Gone is the facial hair and long hair. Jeremy is sitting on my lap.

This is Jay's wife Joan and their daughter Kate opening gifts in 1980.

 This is our niece Kate riding a rocking horse that had been Tamara's. The little piano in the background was from her mom and dad. The trike to the right was a gift from my parents, her grandparents, John and Anna.

This picture shows Jeremy with his great grandmother Byrdis and grandfather John.

 Tamara and I at Christmas 1980.

Tamara and Jeremy at the "kids table" Christmas 1980. Don't we all remember the indignity of that status in life. Relegated to the small table, with little dishes and short chairs. Part of what was going on but at the same time feeling left out of the party. Life changes when you get moved up to the big table and really become part of everything that is happening. The gold shag carpeting on the floor was hang on until the 1990's when it would be relegated to the landfill of life. By then it had long outlived its time in fashion. My childhood and adult life would be spent celebrating holidays in this house. First with my grandparents and then for a number of years when Carol and I and our children were fortunate enough to live there. I don't think everyone is suited to life on a farm but I think everyone who was lucky enough to live on one would never trade away the experience.

Jeremy, my Mom, Tamara and our niece Kate. I think all the kids had fun with that cash register and the toy money that came along with it.

My grandfather John J Sutor, my brother David and his wife Roya Lei. Note the cards strung up in the background. Grandma Byrdis would display the Christmas cards they received each year. It seems like a tradition that has in many ways fallen out of favor. I know Carol and I have not sent Christmas cards in years. We don't receive many. It seems folks are more likely to take the lazy way out and just post Merry Christmas on Facebook. One of our neighbors in Illinois is an immigrant and English can be a difficult language if it is not your native language. He sent me a text message the other day saying "Marry Christmas". I couldn't find anyone by that name to marry and Carol is all the wife I can handle.
The 1980's would be a decade of change. Grandma Byrdis would pass in 1986. I would leave the Mary Davis Home in 1988 and go to work at Hill Correctional Center. We would welcome our second son and last child to the family in 1981 and Jay and Joan would welcome a second daughter Ellen.

Ghosts of Christmas Past- 1978

As I indicated in a prior post on the 1970's is was a big decade for our family. In 1978 my younger brother David graduated from the University of Illinois. The picture below is David with his proud Mother on the day of his graduation.

In June Carol and I welcomed a second child to our family. Our eldest son Jeremy.

The picture above is Jeremy on November 30, 1978. Remember this chair from a prior post?

So Christmas 1978 saw us living in the Galesburg area and me working at the Mary Davis Home. Carol was working at St. Mary's Hospital. Sometimes we would need a sitter for just about an hour between shifts. I had to be to work some days at 3:00 pm and Carol got off work at 3:30 pm. Not much time to see each other but there were bills to pay and kids to feed.

This is Christmas at my Mom and Dad's house. My Grandmother Byrdis on the left, then Mom, Tamara, my Dad and my older brother Jay. The barn and farm animals were a big hit with our children and grandchildren. The set is still in our house in Illinois.

In the picture above I managed to get part of my face and my fat gut in the picture. Carol is holding Jeremy and Byrdis is looking on. She was a wonderful woman. Always encouraging us and trying to use everyday happenings to teach us something about life.

Somehow in this picture I have managed to hide behind Jay. I was never much on having my picture taken and holidays were no exception to that rule. Tammie spent a lot of time playing with that ball. You had to match the shapes up to get them into the ball. Speaking of matching up shapes. Who thinks those pants Jay is wearing will ever make a fashion comeback?

My brother Jay, his wife Joan and Mom. She always had a busy holiday. Dad wanted a turkey and all the trimmings for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It usually fell on Mom to cook the meal. Dad always wanted a mincemeat pie. Something none of the rest of us developed a taste for. I think he liked it because he got the whole pie. One of my favorite memories and I couldn't tell you the year. Joan and Jay hosted Thanksgiving and Joan did a "Martha Stewart" kind of meal. Dad ate his meal but on the way home basically told Mom, "I don't know what the hell that was but it wasn't Thanksgiving dinner." They went out over the weekend and got a turkey and all the trimmings so he could have what he considered a "proper" holiday meal.

This is a better picture of Tamara playing with the farm set. It also looks like she has fenced in a large Mickey Mouse next to the barn.

They finally managed to catch me in a picture. It was an interesting time. I had been at the Mary Davis Home working for a year. I was 24 and we had two children. Carol and I were still learning how to be a married couple. We are still trying to figure out how to be parents. The sad thing about being a parent is that by the time you think you have it figured out your kids are pretty well grown up. You know how to do the parenting they needed 10+ years in the past and not so much what they need then. I think that is the way it will always be. We will be the parents they need 10 years after they needed it. So, there you have Christmas 1978. Since it will appear on Christmas 2015 I want to wish all reading a Merry Christmas and if you have some other tradition Happy Holiday.

Ghosts of Christmas Past- 1977

It is easy sometimes to recognize the big moments in life. We briefly visited some from the 1970's earlier. Things like graduations, marriage and the birth of your first child. Some take years or even decades to recognize. You look back and see that something happened and your life changed. In my life 1977 was one of those. I had graduated from WIU the year before and taken a route sales job with Jewel Tea Company. By 1977 Jewel and I had parted ways and I had taken a job in Abingdon, Illinois making toilets at Briggs Manufacturing. It is reasonable to say something along the lines of what kind of job is that for a college graduate. When you have a wife and child to support you take the job you can get while you look for the job you want. A friend suggested in the fall of 1977 that I apply at the Mary Davis Home. They were looking for a counselor. I got interviewed along with my future friend Mike Blythe. If you don't read his blog Existing in BFE you should. Anyway Mike got hired and started working at MDH on Halloween 1977. I continued to make toilets and figured something would come along. In December I was interviewed again and started working at MDH on Christmas Eve 1977. I worked there for 11 years as a counselor and supervisor then went to work at Hill Correctional Center for 21 years as a counselor and supervisor. I'm often asked if I had a background in psychology or law enforcement. I had neither. My college degree is in history with a minor in political science. Did that make me qualified to counsel juvenile delinquents or adult offenders? No. I think perhaps the key to doing either job is having two things. First a realization that you are not there to punish or rehabilitate them. You need to provide a path they can follow to get there but the walk down that path is theirs. Second requirement is related to the first. It is having a sense of empathy. Put yourself in the other guy's shoes. Realize for just a moment every day that had your circumstances been different that could have been you. A small change here or there, a chance encounter gone wrong, a bit of bad luck, a poor choice in a weak moment and you are in the other chair. So Christmas 1977 finds me with a new job. I had no idea at that time it would be my chosen career path. It turned out to be something I enjoyed and something I felt I was good at.
Tamara, our daughter, was only 3 months old at our first Christmas as parents. In 1977 she was 15 months old and a bigger participant in the activities. We were back in the Galesburg area and here are some pictures of that Christmas.

This is Carol, David and Tamara at my parents' house in Sparta Township.

My Grandmother Byrdis, Tamara, Joan and my older brother Jay.

Tamara with her back to you along with her great grandparents Byrdis and John.

This was our home at the time on Fremont Street in Galesburg. The little rocking chair Tamara was sitting in traveled with us for many years and all the kids enjoyed having a chair their size. The rocking horse to the left was always popular as well. When you look back at Christmas pictures you hope you see your children smiling and happy, your family engaged with each other in the spirit of the holiday. Maybe my glasses are rose colored. Perhaps in my old age I see what I hope to see and not reality. When I look at the pictures, all of them from all the posts, I see a happy family. Perhaps not always blessed financially but at the same time never destitute. Always enjoying each other and the gathering together for the holiday.

Ghosts of Christmas Past- Kate Edition

Today the post is written by my niece Kate. As I've been writing about Christmas it was all about family. I didn't want to tell Kate's story so I asked her to do a guest blog post. Without further explanation here is what Kate sent me.

There are some people who don't enjoy the holidays and the idea of forced family time being thrust upon them, gives them hives or worse yet the twitch eye. These are the people who suffer through the most wonderful time of year by avoiding the parties, the shops, the lights and the Christmas carols. They survive the Christmas festivities they cannot escape by adding extra *nog* in their eggnog, consoling themselves with cookies and praying it'll all be over quickly. These folks are in the Bah Humbug club. They want nothing to do with Christmas- for them the sooner it's over the better!
I'm not among that scrooge crowd and I never have been as you can see above. I love sending cards, belting out Christmas carols, baking cookies, visiting displays of holiday lights, watching White Christmas, Holiday Inn, Christmas in Connecticut...the whole bit- I'm a creature who takes comfort in the rituals and traditions and tales of Christmas past. It is probably why I have been enjoying the Ghost's of Christmas past series my Uncle Jeff has been featuring in his blog and relishing the photos from before my birth. Not only am I the sentimental sort, I, like my uncle also studied history in college. He has asked me to be a guest on his blog and recount my memories of our family Christmases.

This first picture in our journey is from a Sutor Christmas I can't remember. Here I sit on the floor at my great grandparent's home the "big house" with my Grandma Anna and my cousins Jeremy and Tamara chewing my dress in my excitement over Christmas. Ok, maybe I was just teething, but you can see the awe in my face and the joy in Jeremy's over our new trikes in the next photo. Check out the orange and brown shag carpeting. You'll see that again in a few years.

The next photo is from many years later and around the time I really remember celebrating Christmas with my cousins. My sister and I only have three cousins and growing up we were each other's best friends. This picture was taken at their Monroe street house. In this photo we are all captivated by the new TV that Uncle Jeff and Aunt Carol got. It was the first one I remember them owning- it was 1987. On it we are watching The Goonies a movie that would shape a lot of the escapades we cousins got into in the next few years. In the bottom left corner sits my cousin John, My cousin Jeremy, my sister Ellen and I are crammed into one giant chair enjoying the movie and just being together. My cousin's Grandma Bybee is in the background of this picture.

In the year after we watched the Goonies, we formed a club we called Double Trouble, named after Grandma Bybee's dog. The DT club's mission was to have fun and for us kids to stick together. One of our schemes was to bake and decorate cookies as a group on our trip to see Uncle Dave and Aunt Roya in Des Moines. We saved our allowances and solicited spare change from our parents so that we'd be able to buy extra special cookie ingredients including lots of sprinkles! When we arrived ready to bake I remember Aunt Roya saying she wasn't really a cook or a baker and Uncle Dave stepping in and saving the day. Look at him mixing dough and making frosting!

There he is toiling away with a cookie press while we posed for a picture. Did Grandma Anna photo-bomb us?!

In the next photo we're back at the "big house" where Uncle Jeff and Aunt Carol and the kids now live. We're posed with our presents. Notice my perm- a mistake I'm not likely to repeat! You can see that shag carpet again in the foreground- a mistake the rest of the family is not likely to repeat- not to worry, it was soon replaced!

This last group of photos stand out in my mind as the end of our childhood and the beginning of us drifting apart to begin our own adventures. Tamara, Jeremy and I have started high school- our younger siblings aren't far behind us. Here in this moment frozen in time I remember Jeremy and I singing carols together. Ellen and John are poised for presents and teenaged Tamara is barely tolerating the bunch of us and the camera. In another picture I couldn't find Jeremy and I both have arms open wide in a duet of jazz hands covering Tamara's irritated face. That photo is lost but the memory of it is not.

My Sutor Christmas memories were fond ones of fun times with my cousins! I remember going to see the lights at Holmes off 34 around the corner from our farm. I remember us catching the table cloth on fire with the red candles from the Christmas Pyramid we weren't supposed to touch. I remember the Lifesaver books and the holiday envelopes from Anderson State Bank. I remember lots of laughs and lots of cookies (some pilfered after we were cut off of sugar). Most of all I remember lots of love. So though distance and years and different mindsets have separated all of us more than I'd like and though my memories may vary from the other family members in these photos in my mind Sutor Christmas's will always be Merry and Bright.

Ghosts of Christmas Past- The 1970's Part One

The 1970's were a decade of change for Jay, David and I. It start early with Jay's graduation from high school in 1970. I followed graduating in 1972. Jay went off to college in Champaign/Urbana, Illinois at the University of Illinois. He graduated from U of I in 1974 and David graduated from high school. It was a year of change for me as well. I left Western Illinois University in March 1974 and in April 1974 started working at Admiral Corporation as a machine operator on the freezer line. I left school to marry the love of my life Carol. I promised my parents and grandparents I would return and complete my college education. I did and graduated in 1976 from WIU. Here is the important event from 1974.

This is Carol and I on our wedding day in October 1974.  From the left her parents Larry and Jackie, Carol, me, my parents Anna and John. I don't remember our first Christmas as a married couple. I know it was the only one we would share with Larry. He suffered a heart attach in the spring and was revived after suffering massive brain damage. He would spend the remaining 10+ years of his life in nursing homes. When I think about Christmas and being married not much comes to mind in 1974 and 1975. In 1974 I was still working making freezers. I returned to college in January and would commute 50 miles each way daily for classes at WIU. I was also working evenings and weekends so there was no time for anything but work and school. Well I shouldn't say no time for anything. If you take a close look at the picture below.

That is Carol and I at my graduation from WIU in late May 1976. She is pregnant with our first child so clearly I had time to do more than work and study. As my buddy Forrest Gump is famous for: "That is all I have to say about that." Our daughter Tamara was born in September 1976 and my older brother Jay married his love Joan that same month. I know what you are thinking. When in the hell is he going to get to Christmas?

I've been thinking about this post the whole time I was writing all the other ones. You fall in love, you get married and you move away from home. When is your first Christmas? Technically Carol and I shared our first Christmas as a married couple in 1974. I believe in my heart the first real Christmas for us was after the birth of Tamara in 1976. We were a family. We needed to establish traditions of our own. We had to find our place in the world as a family. After I graduated in May 1976 I took a job working for Jewel Tea Company as a route salesman. There are folks out there who can sell ice to Eskimos. There were days I don't think I could have paid them to take winter coats. I was not a sales person. We were living in Potomac, Illinois about 20 miles north of Danville near the Indiana boarder.

This is Carol decorating our tree at our home in Potomac. Our first Christmas as parents. Our first Christmas where we lived a long distance from our parents.

This is a better view of our tree.

This is me relaxing after a day's work out trying to sell stuff. One way to tell old pictures is to look at technology. No one would mistake our 1950's televisions for modern ones. If you look to the right at the wall you will see our telephone. Who has wall phones like that any more?

We also returned home to Sparta Township to celebrate Christmas with the family. On the floor sitting cross legged is Jay's wife Joan. David and his girlfriend at the time are next. Our daughter Tamara is sitting on my mother's lap (her grandmother).
Life kind of rolls along with little concern for anything other than the moment until, at least for us, September 1976 when we became parents. Now someone is depending on us for food, clothing, shelter and most of all love and emotional support. No other event would change our lives as much as Tamara's birth. No offense to our other children but the first child changes your life in ways the other children cannot. We had to grow up. When she was born I was 22 and Carol was 21. We didn't know what we didn't know. We had to learn how to be parents. How to have our own holiday traditions. The good news is that we had parents and grandparents who were there to teach and support us in our efforts. If there is a sadness in all of this it is with Carol's dad Larry. He would have loved his grandchildren and they would have loved him. When you think life is fair think about him. You will know it isn't.
Anyway for Jeff and Carol 1976 was our first real Christmas as a married couple. This year will be our 42nd together. The next few posts will cover some of the ones as our family grew and our traditions got established.

Ghosts of Christmas Past- 1957 revisited

There is one huge problem with computers and digital photographs. Sometimes you put them in the wrong place. They go in a folder and you don't know which folder you put them in. There are scores of folders and thousands of photographs. Where in the hell did I put those pictures. I knew I had some more pictures of a Christmas from the 1950's but I just couldn't find them. Well, at least until now. So, for those who have been following along, we are taking a day to turn the clock back once again. It is the three sons of John and Anna enjoying Christmas.

David is sitting in a pull wagon. He appears to be about 2 years old so I'm guessing this at 1957. I'm in the background holding a wagon that hooks behind a pedal tractor. Jay is sitting on a riding toy. It is operated by pulling the handle back and pushing the handle forward. I remember us having races in the basement between the pedal tractor, the thing Jay is sitting on and a tricycle.

Same year but just Jay and I in the picture. You can see the sleek lines of the thing Jay is sitting on. I remember riding that around the basement. Quite the workout for your arms but it would really move. Last I knew it was still sitting in the basement of our childhood home. It isn't new and shiny like it is in these pictures. Makes you wonder what it would take to have it restored to its former glory. Once again note that I am wearing the bib overalls. Almost has me in the mood to go buy a pair now.

Televisions have sure changed over the years. Really didn't need a big TV back then since there were only two stations to watch. Channel 4 was WHBF a CBS affiliate. Chanel 6 was WOC and affiliated with NBC.

Please take a minute to look at all the farm machinery on the floor in front of David. We spent lots of time on the floor farming with all that equipment. We had a container of shelled corn we would spread out on the floor and run the disk and plow through. Later we would harvest and put the corn up an elevator into a silo. Later on when we were older we got a Lionel train. Of course there were tractor and train accidents on the way to the grain elevator. I think the majority of the farm equipment is still around home somewhere.

I hope you enjoyed this brief rewind into Christmas 1950's style.