Older- yes /Wiser- an open question

The next four items are from a book I just finished by Steven Petrow called Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old. 

I actually think playwright George Bernard Shaw had it right when he said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.”

The more we define ourselves by our frailties and illnesses, the more we allow them to become us.

He knew he was getting older when it took him longer to do what he used to do easily, and quickly, so he decided to do less, but even that took longer.

“Back at the beginning, as I see now, my life was all time and almost no memory.... And now, nearing the end, I see that my life is almost entirely memory and very little time.”

I think one of the difficulties in getting older is the third quote. Things get more difficult. You can feel yourself slowing down. What formerly happened so easily now requires effort. Sometimes considerable effort. What required effort in the past may now require assistance. It is assistance we don’t want to ask for or be forced to admit we need. So we decide to do less. 

The last quote. Time? That’s a tough one. Lots to look back on. How much is left ahead? It is clear at my age there is more behind me than lies ahead. Here is one opinion from the internet yesterday. 

What I found interesting was that it was exactly 4 years yesterday. What would I do if that was certain? How would I spend those 4 years? Recently I have been considering what is important in life. It has come down to a couple of things. Love and kindness. Everyone has struggles in this life. If I can’t do anything to make their lives better then I should do what I can to ensure I don’t make them any worse. A kind word. A listening ear. An open heart and mind. A helping hand. In a world that seems to be increasingly cruel or at least lacking empathy I am choosing to swim against the current. It may be a small thing but it matters. Return that shopping cart. Tip you waitstaff a little extra. Pick up that piece of trash on the sidewalk or in the parking lot. Smile and wave at your neighbor, or a stranger, or someone driving by. Make a tiny difference. They add up. 

Forever Curious

 This building is in downtown Astoria, Illinois. 

Doesn’t look like much does it? Like much of small town rural America it is in a state of active decay. It wasn’t the building that got me curious as it was this stone. 

What was the K-P Hall #482? I tried using Google and got nothing useful. I asked folks around town and was told back in the 1950’s or 60’s it was a jewelry store. That didn’t explain the hall notation on the stone. Someone posted on a local history Facebook page about activities at the K of P Hall in Astoria. So a check of K of P resulted in answers. This building was a meeting hall for a fraternal order Knights of Pythias. The organization was founded in Washington, D.C. on February 19, 1864 by Justus H. Rathbone. It is based on a play by Irish poet John Banim about the legend of Damon and Pythias. Members must take the following oath:

I declare upon honor that I believe in a Supreme Being, that I am not a professional gambler, or unlawfully engaged in the wholesale or retail sale of intoxicating liquors or narcotics, and that I believe in the maintenance of the order and the upholding of constituted authority in the government in which I live. Moreover, I declare upon honor that I am not a Communist or Fascist; that I do not advocate nor am I a member of any organization that advocates the overthrow of the Government of the Country of which I am a Citizen, by force or violence or other unlawful means; and that I do not seek by force or violence to deny to other persons their rights under the laws of such country.

The organization still exists and has a few remaining lodges in Illinois. If you’re curious check out the legend of Damon and Pythias, the story of Justus Rathbone and the website of the Knights of Pythias. 

Time Marches Ever Forward

 We are great grandparents again. 

This is Miss Nevie Maelynn. So we now have 6 granddaughters and 2 great granddaughters. 

This is momma Vannessa and Nevie. 

Daddy Drew and Nevie. 

Being called Grandpa is not on his list. Here is OG John with Nevie. 

Don’t call her Grandma. It is Gigi Mandie with Nevie. 

Aunt Audrey with Nevie 

Aunt Johnnie with Nevie. 

Great Nana Carol with Nevie. 

Great Papa Jeff with Nevie. 

Great Grandma Crystol with Nevie. 

So you know you are getting old when your son is holding his granddaughter. When your granddaughter is a mother. When your mother is a great, great grandmother. 

It is still a wonderful life. 

It’s Time

 

I haven’t blogged in quite some time. Last night one of my granddaughters said she had been checking and there was nothing new. Audrey, this one is for you. First, thanks for the push. 

So, why haven’t I written in such a long time? I didn’t feel like I had anything productive to say. When I thought about writing it was always about something that made me angry. I felt like I would be the old man standing on his porch yelling for those damn kids to get out of his yard. It seemed unproductive. We seem to spend too much time on social media yelling at each other. It is the human equivalent of the monkey house at the zoo. We throw verbal shit at each other and stroke our egos with the thought of how clever we were. How we showed the libs or put those Trumpers in their place. It would be reasonable to ask at this point what has that accomplished? Has it brought us closer? Has it moved us toward compromise and incremental movement to a brighter future? I think it has had the opposite effect. It has moved us apart. We have gone to our corners and hunkered down with those who think like we do. We read very little. We watch news that reinforces our beliefs. Whatever doesn’t fit our perceived narrative is dismissed. I find anger is just exhausting. It takes too much effort. If you do or say something that I allow to make me angry I have given you some level of control over my life. I’m not willing to do that. 

So, I have made my choice. I choose kindness. Smile, be cheerful, look for the good things around you. There is always a temptation to give in to our darker side. To say something harsh or cruel in response to a perceived slight. It doesn’t raise them to your level it lowers you to theirs. You allow yourself to become what you dislike in them. I choose kindness. I choose love. I hope Audrey this has given you something to think about. 

Changes

 We just did some remodeling in our basement. Here’s what it looked like when we moved here. 

I’m not a big fan of carpet in a basement. There is no evidence it ever got wet. It just isn’t my preference. 

The entertainment center was the first thing to go. We put it out on Facebook with a note that it was free for the hauling. A couple people said they wanted it but never showed up. I took it apart and it is in our back garage. 

I spent about 4 days tearing out carpet, padding and tack strips nailed into the concrete. Not fun but it was going to be $2,500 for the coating company to do the work. 

We decided the carpet on the steps also had to go. Whoever put that down had stock in a staple company. 

The work crew for the flooring showed up and step one was grinding off the polished surface of the concrete. 

Yes, it’s that dusty. 

Floor coating. 

Finished product! 

Another Part of Our National Nightmare

 When you’re elected as a senator what is more important, backing an agenda that makes progress toward a better country or being re-elected? Senator Susan Collins, Republican from Maine was asked today if Donald Trump ran for President again would she support him.  The best Senator Collins could do was say that it was very unlikely given the number of other qualified candidates that appear interested in running. It is interesting to note that in Trump’s second impeachment trial Senator Collins was one of seven Republicans to vote in favor of impeachment. So at that time so believed he had committed a violation of his oath of office so severe he should be removed. Now, well, maybe he is qualified and acceptable to run and maybe I’ll support his candidacy. Is it that hard to look at everything he has done and say something really simple. “There is no way, under any circumstance, I will ever support his candidacy for President of the United States.” There are two reasons for refusing to say that sentence. First, primary voters are the. Base of the Republican Party. They will go out and vote in the primary election. They, at least at this point, still think Donald Trump should carry the party banner. So Senator Collins is looking for re-election not for the good of the country. The second reason? Well that would require Senator Collins to have a spine. It is a condition all to common among those currently in office representing the Republican Party.  

Fuck the Packers

 As a Bears fan there is very little more satisfying than seeing the Packers lose a playoff game in the cold at Lambeau Field. After hitting the game winning field goal either Robbie Gould or Jimmy Garroppolo said “Fuck the Packers.”  Bears fans would like to credit Gould since he formerly played for the Bears. It doesn’t matter to me who said it I just agree. 

Enjoy your seat watching the remainder of the playoffs. 

The Power of Lies

 We have, for over a year, battled Donald Trump’s lies about the 2020 election. 

Extensive voter fraud. LIE

Dead people by the thousands voted. LIE

He won the election by a huge margin. LIE

 Noncitizens voted. LIE

What is the result? A recent poll indicated 71% of Republicans believed President Biden was not legitimately elected. The same poll showed 33% of all voters believed the same thing. The question is why? 

Pulitzer Prize winner Daniel Kahneman says in Thinking, Fast and Slow, “A reliable way to make people believe in falsehoods is frequent repetition, because familiarity is not easily distinguished from truth.”Once a concept’s popularity ascends to a certain point, people will blindly assume its truth, and no amount of valid criticism can fully eradicate it.

So people believe the election was not legitimate because they keep hearing that from the former President and constantly on Fox News. No one has provided proof. No lists of illegal voters. No list of dead people who voted. No evidence of illegal absentee ballots. If there was fraud they have had a full year to make their case and provide proof. They haven’t because there isn’t any. Now, it doesn’t matter. People have heard the lies repeated over and over. They cannot distinguish between the familiar and the truth. 

It is easier to fool someone than it is to convince them after they have been fooled of the truth. 

We are going to live with the effects of these lies for a long time. 

It Was a Sad Experience

 I went to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up a new prescription for my wife. It was phoned in the day before. Freezing rain was predicted later in the morning so I drove the 15 miles to pick it up before things got slick. It wasn’t ready so I sat in the waiting area while they counted pills and got insurance authorization. It seems everyone else who needed a prescription filled had the same idea. I say and watched while several folks picked up their prescriptions and walked to the front to pay. A couple of minutes later they would be back with the same question. 

“Why is this so much more than last time?” 

The pharmacist provided a variety of answers. New year new deductible. The price of the drug went up. Blah, blah, blah. It basically came down to it is what it is. It then became what can you afford? He would then dispense the number of pills they could afford. In some cases a couple of weeks worth instead of a month. What happens in two weeks? They do the dance again? They try to stretch those medications to last a month? These were all middle aged folks. We live in a very rural area of western Illinois. The kind of area where you drive 15 or 20 miles to get to a town of less than 5,000 with places like a grocery store and a pharmacy. If you want to get to a larger city- Quincy, Peoria, Springfield for example, the drive is 50+ miles. Factory jobs? Most of those left the area in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Those job losses took with them the insurance benefits they provided for thousands in the area. So, far too many do the tough walk at the pharmacy. They walk from the pharmacy clerk to the front register and back to the pharmacy clerk. They try to figure out what they can afford while keeping their household fed, clothed and sheltered. 

That folks is the sad state of healthcare in America. They need the medications to live. They don’t want to die and struggle just to survive. We can and should be better than this. 

Stuff

 

It’s tough here for Lily and Rose