Older- yes /Wiser- an open question

The next four items are from a book I just finished by Steven Petrow called Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old. 

I actually think playwright George Bernard Shaw had it right when he said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.”

The more we define ourselves by our frailties and illnesses, the more we allow them to become us.

He knew he was getting older when it took him longer to do what he used to do easily, and quickly, so he decided to do less, but even that took longer.

“Back at the beginning, as I see now, my life was all time and almost no memory.... And now, nearing the end, I see that my life is almost entirely memory and very little time.”

I think one of the difficulties in getting older is the third quote. Things get more difficult. You can feel yourself slowing down. What formerly happened so easily now requires effort. Sometimes considerable effort. What required effort in the past may now require assistance. It is assistance we don’t want to ask for or be forced to admit we need. So we decide to do less. 

The last quote. Time? That’s a tough one. Lots to look back on. How much is left ahead? It is clear at my age there is more behind me than lies ahead. Here is one opinion from the internet yesterday. 

What I found interesting was that it was exactly 4 years yesterday. What would I do if that was certain? How would I spend those 4 years? Recently I have been considering what is important in life. It has come down to a couple of things. Love and kindness. Everyone has struggles in this life. If I can’t do anything to make their lives better then I should do what I can to ensure I don’t make them any worse. A kind word. A listening ear. An open heart and mind. A helping hand. In a world that seems to be increasingly cruel or at least lacking empathy I am choosing to swim against the current. It may be a small thing but it matters. Return that shopping cart. Tip you waitstaff a little extra. Pick up that piece of trash on the sidewalk or in the parking lot. Smile and wave at your neighbor, or a stranger, or someone driving by. Make a tiny difference. They add up. 

Forever Curious

 This building is in downtown Astoria, Illinois. 

Doesn’t look like much does it? Like much of small town rural America it is in a state of active decay. It wasn’t the building that got me curious as it was this stone. 

What was the K-P Hall #482? I tried using Google and got nothing useful. I asked folks around town and was told back in the 1950’s or 60’s it was a jewelry store. That didn’t explain the hall notation on the stone. Someone posted on a local history Facebook page about activities at the K of P Hall in Astoria. So a check of K of P resulted in answers. This building was a meeting hall for a fraternal order Knights of Pythias. The organization was founded in Washington, D.C. on February 19, 1864 by Justus H. Rathbone. It is based on a play by Irish poet John Banim about the legend of Damon and Pythias. Members must take the following oath:

I declare upon honor that I believe in a Supreme Being, that I am not a professional gambler, or unlawfully engaged in the wholesale or retail sale of intoxicating liquors or narcotics, and that I believe in the maintenance of the order and the upholding of constituted authority in the government in which I live. Moreover, I declare upon honor that I am not a Communist or Fascist; that I do not advocate nor am I a member of any organization that advocates the overthrow of the Government of the Country of which I am a Citizen, by force or violence or other unlawful means; and that I do not seek by force or violence to deny to other persons their rights under the laws of such country.

The organization still exists and has a few remaining lodges in Illinois. If you’re curious check out the legend of Damon and Pythias, the story of Justus Rathbone and the website of the Knights of Pythias. 

Time Marches Ever Forward

 We are great grandparents again. 

This is Miss Nevie Maelynn. So we now have 6 granddaughters and 2 great granddaughters. 

This is momma Vannessa and Nevie. 

Daddy Drew and Nevie. 

Being called Grandpa is not on his list. Here is OG John with Nevie. 

Don’t call her Grandma. It is Gigi Mandie with Nevie. 

Aunt Audrey with Nevie 

Aunt Johnnie with Nevie. 

Great Nana Carol with Nevie. 

Great Papa Jeff with Nevie. 

Great Grandma Crystol with Nevie. 

So you know you are getting old when your son is holding his granddaughter. When your granddaughter is a mother. When your mother is a great, great grandmother. 

It is still a wonderful life. 

It’s Time

 

I haven’t blogged in quite some time. Last night one of my granddaughters said she had been checking and there was nothing new. Audrey, this one is for you. First, thanks for the push. 

So, why haven’t I written in such a long time? I didn’t feel like I had anything productive to say. When I thought about writing it was always about something that made me angry. I felt like I would be the old man standing on his porch yelling for those damn kids to get out of his yard. It seemed unproductive. We seem to spend too much time on social media yelling at each other. It is the human equivalent of the monkey house at the zoo. We throw verbal shit at each other and stroke our egos with the thought of how clever we were. How we showed the libs or put those Trumpers in their place. It would be reasonable to ask at this point what has that accomplished? Has it brought us closer? Has it moved us toward compromise and incremental movement to a brighter future? I think it has had the opposite effect. It has moved us apart. We have gone to our corners and hunkered down with those who think like we do. We read very little. We watch news that reinforces our beliefs. Whatever doesn’t fit our perceived narrative is dismissed. I find anger is just exhausting. It takes too much effort. If you do or say something that I allow to make me angry I have given you some level of control over my life. I’m not willing to do that. 

So, I have made my choice. I choose kindness. Smile, be cheerful, look for the good things around you. There is always a temptation to give in to our darker side. To say something harsh or cruel in response to a perceived slight. It doesn’t raise them to your level it lowers you to theirs. You allow yourself to become what you dislike in them. I choose kindness. I choose love. I hope Audrey this has given you something to think about.