Things you don't want to hear

All too often you hear people say: " When I was younger I wish I knew what I know now". I take the opposite position. I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then. You watch TV talk shows now and couples are being interviewed about their sex lives by folks like Dr. Phil. They admit to having teenage children and complain the thrill is gone, there is no fire of passion, or he/she doesn't want to perform oral sex any more. Someday maybe their kids will end up watching the show. How much therapy will it take to get that picture out of their heads? I mean, I realize my parents had to have had sex, after all I am here. Does that mean I ever want to hear about it? That I want to know any of the specifics? That it should be discussed with a "therapist" on TV? Hell no! What brought this rant on? We took my mother in law to WalMart today and she is worried about her health especially how her liver is functioning. She determined that a good way to decide how your liver is working is to examine your poop. Needless to say I have no interest in my mother in laws turd prospecting. It was information I did not want or need. She does have some trouble determining what is an appropriate topic of conversation when we are out in public. We went out for a meal with her, John, Mandie, their three children ( Vannessa, Audrey and Johnnie) to a local BBQ spot. The conversation turned, by her, to what was currently big news on CNN. It is apparently the only station that works on her TV. Unfortunately the big news was the sex abuse scandal at Penn State. Please note where I capitalize the words this is where she spoke the loudest. "I can't believe that coach was having ANAL SEX with those boys and nobody did anything about it. Why would a grown man, he's old you know, want to have AAANNAALL SSEEXX with boys?" Our granddaughters sitting with us at the time are 8, 5 and 2 years of age. I will leave the explanations to the parents if questions come up later. Sometimes you want to forcefully yet respectfully tell someone to shut the fuck up.
So while the United States government has repealed don't ask don't tell, it is alive and well in my head. There are things I don't want to hear and are not appropriate topics for public outings.