50 and Tacos

I haven't talked much about how the diet is going in recent posts. I think I'm going to begin by saying it really isn't a diet it is more of a lifestyle change. I started on September 6th and so far I have lost just over 50 pounds. That is the good news. The more challenging news is that according to the charts I have more than that left to lose to get to the upper end of what those charts indicate is a healthy weight. Time will tell how that goes. A reasonable question for those who bother to read titles is this. What if the hell does this have to do with tacos?

This is called a lettuce wrap "taco". When you are on a diet they expect you to eat shit like this. This is not a taco. There is no tortilla. It is an essential part of a taco. No tortilla = NO TACO! It is like beer. There is NA beer out there in the world. They claim the NA stands for non-alcohol. The truth is the NA stands for NOT ACTUALLY. It is because without alcohol it is not actually beer.

For the purposes of my argument these are tacos. They have an actual tortilla. In the interest of truth, and if I do nothing else here I strive to be honest. The tacos pictured above are from Taco Bell. So, in a technical sense, they are not real tacos. Real tacos are made in a real Mexican restaurant. Ideally some out of the way place like the Taco Hideout in Galesburg.

There are places that would like you to believe that is abomination is a taco. It is a folded waffle with sausage and egg in the middle. The clown who thinks this is a taco should be put in a small room and fed these for every meal every day until he admits this is not a taco. Yes, it has to be a he. No woman would try to convince us this is a taco.

This one, at least for me, is a tough call. Ok, no tortilla, but dammit it's made of bacon. Bacon makes everything better. Where this one fails the taco test is mac and cheese. Who would think that would be a good addition. Ground beef- no bacon deserves thinly sliced steak. So, not a taco.

This piece of shit cannot be a taco. Really, fried ramen noodles for a shell. Get the fuck outta here.

When you are on a diet you WANT this to be a taco. You rationalize it. Dark chocolate is supposed to be good for you. Ice cream, well we all know that is basically frozen milk. Milk is dairy and dairy products are good for you. Sprinkles are small so the calories don't really count. They look small so what could one hurt. Once again, if you think with you head instead of your gut, this is not a taco.

Tacos are NOT made from fish. Beef yes! Pork, maybe? Fish- NO.

As a final point of clarification tacos, real tacos, are made for land animals. Shrimp are good but they are not an appropriate taco filling.

Back to our real tacos and weight loss. The key is not to have things that pretend to be tacos and are not. When you do at the end of your meal you might say: "That was good." However, in the corner of your mind where your desires live. The ones you are bottling up and denying. Those voices back there are saying: "Yes, BUT that was NOT a TACO." So, if you want a taco, have one. Have ONE. A real ONE. The ONE you actually want. The taco of your desires. You don't gain weight by eating one taco. You gain weight when you look at this and think it is one serving for one person.