Mickey Mouse

I will be honest and admit up front that I HATE Mickey Mouse. I do not dislike Mickey Mouse. I hate him. My daughter in law Mandie, LOVES the little bastard. I call him a bastard because to the best of my knowledge Walt Disney never married Mickey's mom. We will explore Walt's possible dabbling in beastality in another post. Today I cast my net over the mouse. We are leaving for Port Canaveral, Florida on Friday morning. On Sunday morning we (Mrs. Sutor and I, her Mom, John, Mandie and their three girls and Mandie's mom) will board the Disney Dream cruise ship. At that point Mickey fucking Mouse will attach himself to my billfold like a leech. He will endeavor to suck everything green out of it. The granddaughters will want things and I will find myself incapable of using the word "no". Five days later devoid of all cash, credit cards maxes out, wearing a "goofy" smile and a pair of mouse ears Mickey will tell me to get off his boat until I have more money. The beauty of Disney and that bastard mouse is that they provide such excellent customer service you can forget you are being screwed. "Golly, Mr. Sutor, would you like another $10 drink of the day?" I will hoping the drink will ease the pain of my Disney gang rape. Here they come lined up for cash, Goofy, Pluto, Buzz Lightyear, Cinderella, Jasmine, Alladin, Snow White, all 7 dwarfs, and the honest one- Woody. You know when you see a woody headed your way you are getting it between the ass cheeks. Don't waste your breath asking for lube or that they be gentle. The Mouse and his gang are going to give it to you hard, fast and often. If you hear that someone threw Mickey Mouse overboard you will know it was me. Rats flee a sinking ship, a mouse owns a cruise ship line, 4 theme parks, movie studios and a television empire. Not bad for the bastard son of Walt. Anyone know where I can find a giant mouse trap? Glue board? Deacon bait box- extra large.