I Knew Better

About 18 months ago we decided to go to the United States Department of Agriculture to discuss signing up for a forestry restoration project. We had harvested some trees on our property and had some acreage that had been farmed in the past. We felt it was too steep and too prone to erosion for row crops and we were not interested in pasturing farm animals. Growing trees and getting some cost share funds from the federal government seemed to be the way to go. Really, what could go wrong? I had worked for 32 years for local and state government. I could speak the bureaucratic language. I understood the need for hundreds of forms that no one cared about or looked at after they were signed. I would fill out my forms, do the work and then latch my lips on the ample busom of Lady Liberty and suck the cash out. I should have known better. Lady Liberty has minions who look over those forms to make sure that all the i's are dotted and all the t's are crossed. It seems to be a problem when the typist stutters and spells my first name Jerrrey and not Jeffrey. Jerrrey does not match the name on you SSI card. Access to Lady Liberty's busom of $$$$ is denied. We have made repeated trips to their offices to sign paperwork only to get a call the next day saying there is another form they need. Well meaning bureaucrats keep trying but are often confused by the tangled web of regulations they must enforce to protect the busoms of $$$$. We were told we didn't have to sign a plan modification in August. In December the same worker called me and asked why I hadn't signed the modification. I explained he had told me it was unnecessary. The response- that's right I remember that now. In March he called again and asked why I had not stopped by to sign the modification. Well, because you told me twice it was not necessary. His response, I don't know why I would say that it MUST be signed. The rule book for the program is a notebook about 4 inches think with three supplemental volumes of about 2 inches each. Do participants get a copy of the rules? Of course not. The rule book holds the keys to the lock that protects those cash filled busoms. So 18 months later, lots of dollars spent to complete work and comply with the plan and no $$$$ back from the USDA. The moral? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!