Battlefield Brain

Optimist or pessimist? Is it just something that goes on in my head or do all of us fight this battle? I spent my working career talking to criminals and drug addicts. They are among the most practiced liars on the planet. So the optimist in you gets his ass kicked every day by the manipulation and lies. The pessimist in you says it shouldn't have been a surprise. Over the long haul I guess my personal view has come to be the following. If you are doing something I wonder why. What is in it for you? Everyone acts based in some manner on what is in their best interest. You are being nice. What is the reward for you? The acclaim of others that you are a nice person? At the end of life a trip to eternal paradise? My thought process tends to look for what your motivation might be. If I can't find one then I think I must have missed something. The optimist in me just wants to believe that you are just a good person. The pessimist in me is screaming: "Have you lost your fucking mind? NOBODY is good for no reason." It is clear to me that optimism is painful. You expect good things from others. The world is going to be a bright and happy place. Things are going well and then life takes a giant shit on your existence. Disappointment and heartbreak are your new companions. Despair has kicked hope's ass.

So aside from avoiding lightning strikes are their advantages to being a pessimist?

1. Bad new is never a surprise. Car stops running, bank tells you that your account is overdrawn, letter from the IRS in the mail. These are not surprises you saw all these things coming. You expected them to happen. If you were an optimist these all would have been surprises. These things would have crushed your spirit. Your spirit can't be crushed. You are a pessimist. You can't kill something that is already dead.

2. You always have a plan ready to deal with bad news. I have one. I sit and stuff food in my mouth and drink lots of beer. Things are still bad, time for more food and more beer. Not getting any better, time to go to the store for more food and more beer. Eventually it is time to go for more food, more beer and new clothes.

3. No one tries to make small talk with you. Imagine someone asking you that seemingly innocent question: "How's it going?" If you respond honestly, let's be realistic here, your friends and coworkers will stop asking and do their best to avoid all conversation with you. No more worries about having to talk about Dancing with the Stars, Hoarders, Duck Dynasty or any other stupid "reality" show.

It is always the question of is the glass half empty or half full. Really? You bastards got a glass? I didn't get a glass. Your glass has stuff in it. Half full/half empty? Who cares. Well a true pessimist would.

 Half empty, half full, who cares! It's piss!

Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. There are those who feel Murphy was too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

So at the end of the day which choice do we make? I look and see some folks preparing for doomsday. Stocking up on ammunition and food. Getting ready for a terrorist attack, earthquake, flood, fire, or whatever other horrible thing their minds can imagine. Personally I think they are a little bit crazy. The optimist and the pessimist in me agree that if, for instance, a giant asteroid was to strike earth my house would be at the exact center of the crater. No need to prepare for doomsday cause I am DEAD. The optimist in me hopes for it and the pessimist in me accepts their can be no other possible outcome. My life is in balance.

So whatever may happen I think a healthy balance of both is in order. Hope for the best and realize sometimes even the best outcome holds the seeds for a future disaster. Maybe Alfred E. Newman had it right when he said: "What, me worry?"

As Expected

We went to Chicago yesterday and moved our niece Kate to Peoria. My Chicago experience went as expected. Traffic was bad. The lanes were narrow and busy especially when you have a full sized pickup truck and a trailer.

This is the view from the passenger seat taken by Carol. You big city drivers can and should be making fun of me. You see spaces between the cars and all the lanes aren't packed. You are wondering why I would object to this. Well the next picture is the where I usually drive. The road less taken.

 

That is the view from the end of our driveway looking west. If I wanted to go to Galesburg or actually anywhere that is the way I have to go.

 

This is the view going east. If I want to go a half mile to nowhere I go this way. The road deadends down there so nowhere to go that direction.

 

 

The Chicago skyline. Some will marvel at its beauty.

 

 

The view I like. Wild turkeys at the end of our driveway earlier in the week. The were looking for a midmorning snack.

 

This is our yard this morning. My only question is this one. Where the fuck is Spring?

 

My excursion into Chicago yesterday did nothing to change my feelings. I still hate the city. The crowds, the traffic, the smells, the noise, everything about it. If I never go there again I will be fine.

Chicago

There are people who love Chicago. People who love big cities in general. The hustle and bustle. The culture and activities. Places to go, people to meet, things to see. My friend Mike refers to the area where we live as BFE. For the purposes of this blog I prefer a term from my youth. Galesburg lays on the eastern edge of an area referred to in the early 1970's as Forgotonia. Bypassed by modern transportation highways and industry it was a lost and ignored area of west central Illinois. There are more and better highways now but the industries that dotted the landscape have fled to places where the labor is cheaper.

Back to Chicago. I am going there tomorrow with Carol to help our niece Kate move from there to Peoria. I hate Chicago. Not really the city, I hate urban areas. Not some of them, all of them. We went on vacation last year and the route took us through Nashville, TN and Atlanta, GA. Hated driving through both. HATED! Going to Chicago with a full size pickup truck and a large U-Haul trailer. No fun.

We live on a dead end road. No one lives past us on the road. The neighbor checks his cows in the pasture across the road twice a day. The mail gets delivered about noon. On a good day that is the traffic for the day. Three vehicles. Tomorrow they will be three or four wide as far as the eye can see. No thank you, very much!

Sunday, we will return to our little corner of Forgotonia. The turkeys will be gobbling at dawn. The birds will sing, the cows will moo. At the end of the day the sun will set and the coyotes will howl and yip while the owls hoot in the trees. Not the music of the bustling city. They are the sounds that sooth my soul. The sounds of home.

English- No habla

I grew up in the United States of America. In the great Midwest. All I heard was English. Midwestern American English. I don't remember the first time I heard a foreign language. I don't speak any foreign language. I wish sometimes I did. I said all that to say this. My part time neighbors are Lebanese. English is not their primary language and sometimes what is very clear and simple to me is as complex as rocket science to them. The more I think about it the more I understand their confusion. I am still trying to learn English.

I learned a while back about contronyms. In school you learn about synonyms and antonyms.Contronym is a word that can be it's own antonym.. Here are some examples.

So in order to understand what the word means you must understand the context in which it is being used. It is unfortunate that I see in the writings of others a misunderstanding of there, their and they're. They seem to lack the understanding of which to use and they grew up speaking English.

Part of the problem is the number of words in the English language. We seem to want to name everything. Take the words above. How do you determine how many words there are in English. Is bolt one word or two. The noun for the physical item or the verb for running away? Do you count both? Then their are the various types of bolts (carriage, eye, allen, hex) are the two separate words or hypenated? We haven't even gotten to my wife's favorite- bolts of fabric. Another item altogether.

Animals also provide confusion for my neighbors. I tried talking about an owl one night when one was hooting in the woods while we were visiting with them. Apparently Lebanon does not have owls. New information for me.

When I worked at the Mary Davis Home we had to take the deliquents out to visit the doctor. We utilized the skills of Dr. Hill when he first arrived in Galesburg. He is from Great Britain so he speaks British English. I would take the young gentlemen and go in the exam room with them. Dr. Hill would say: "Pull up your jersey and pull down your trousers." It result, without exception, that the young man would look at me bewildered. I would say: "Shirt up, pants down. Don't worry Dr. Hill I will translate for you."

George Carlin was one of my favorites. He was always pointing out stupid things we all say and really don't think about. One of my favorites was: Mr. Carlin, you can get on the airplane now." He would reply with: "Fuck you, I'm getting in the airplane." A subtle yet important distinction for an airplane passenger.

I talked to many inmates when I worked at the prison who at least alleged they spoke little or no English. I admit that too often my response to "no English" was to speak slowly and loudly as if being unable to understand English was a hearing impairment. Somehow when I was done trying to communicate with them and said: "Get the FUCK out of my office." they all understood enough to leave.

So when you talk to someone who does not speak English as their primary language be aware that you may not be communicating as effectively as you think. As for me, my lifelong quest to understand English continues. So there or their or they're. One has to be right. Wright?

Just Sayin'

I got so excited about my birthday they had to close a street.

I hear this so often.

59

It is my birthday. My 59th birthday. When I was young I wondered why anyone would want to live past the age of 35. I mean really, aren't you all used up and worthless by then? A drain on society? Now I can't imagine what I was thinking then. Are my best years ahead or behind me? I don't know and I don't care. What matters is today. I don't have any plans for the day, it will pass as any other. I will leave you with this image. It is the note that hung on my bassinet in the hospital the day I was born. Before I had a name. I was just baby boy Sutor.

Thanks Mom and Dad. Hope I've made you proud.

Johnnie Lynn

Today Johnnie Lynn is four years old. She is our son John's youngest. Since as far back as we can track their has been a John in the family and she was going to be John and Mandie's last, she got the name. It seems unreal that it has been four years since we welcomed her into the world. She is a ball or fire. A very headstrong young lady. We think it comes from the name. Seems like all the Johns in the family are very headstrong. Perhaps stubborn is a better descriptor.

This is Johnnie on her birth day being held by her proud Papa and flanked by her sisters Vannessa and Audrey.

She has always done things her way and there was no thumb sucking for this girl. She always sucked her fingers like a rock star.

This was a happy day at Disney World.

Her birthday party was yesterday. It was attended by many friends and family. Johnnie had a great time.

One of my favorite pictures of the birthday girl.

Happy birthday Johnnie Lynn!!!!!!

Duck, Duck,Goose, Nope Swan

I am always amazed at the things I get to see out here in the middle of nowhere. I do follow Mike Blythe's blog Existing in BFE and marvel at the pictures he gets in and around his area of Florida. I especially enjoy the nature photographs. Yesterday Lily and I had to take the truck up to Wataga to mail some bills at the post office and buy some stamps. Yes I am that old fashioned. Checks in envelopes to folks I owe money. The other thing should be obvious to all truck and dog owners. Dogs LOVE trucks. If there is any opportunity my buddy Lily is getting to go along for the ride. We completed our business in Wataga and proceeded back home. About a two miles from home three large white birds flew over the top of the truck and landed out in a corn field. When the flew over my initial reaction was JTFC (for those who don't recognize that abbreviation it is Jesus Titty Fucking Christ) those are some big birds. Since they were white my initial guess was that they were Snow Geese.

This is a picture off the internet of a snow goose. Please note the yellow legs, white face and dark tail. Those features will be important later.

 

 



I realize it is difficult to see in this picture and I apologize for the picture quality.These were taken on my camera's maximum magnification and at at distance of over 100 yards. If you look at the head of the bird you will note a black colored area from the beak to the eye. The tail is white and the legs, while difficult to see are black.

 





This picture is a bit better and again clearly shows the head which does not match the head of a snow goose. Some internet searching turned up the following picture.

Note the similarities to the picture I took. The face, the white tail and the black legs. Additionally the neck is much longer than a snow goose. The picture above is a Trumpeter Swan. Some research indicated the birds were well out of their normal habitat. I can state to the best of my recollection I have never seen one in this area. It was another reason they stuck me as unusual when I saw them.

 

So my advice dear readers is keep your camera handy. You never know when Mother Nature or fate or just dumb luck is going to provide you with an opportunity for a once in a lifetime picture or two. I am thankful for the internet and the billions of pictures out there. Without that vast resource at my fingertips I may never have known exactly what I saw. 

Beauty

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have nothing to say today other than I wish I had taken these pictures. They are taken from the internet and posted here for your enjoyment. I will shut up now.

It is a beautiful worl we live in. We are so lucky to be able to see things like these without having to travel the world looking for them.

I lack the words to describe the beauty this world can hold. We are lucky indeed to be able to see these things. A lifetime of travel and effort may never have allowed us to behold these sights. 

Dog and Cat

We have a wonderful dog named Lily Lu. She is a 10 month old Redbone coon hound. She is very smart but not very brave.  The picture above is Lily Lu getting close to the camera when I was taking pictures. She just wondered what I was doing.

We have a cat named Snickers. She is about 15 years old and hates everyone and everything. Yesterday Lily decided to torment Snickers. The cat has tolerated this very well for the last couple of weeks. She lays down under a chair and Lily barks at her. Snickers will look at her from time to time and you can see the gears in her head turning. "I could kick your ass if I wanted to dog. Lucky for you I don't want to right now."

Their uneasy truce ended yesterday. Lily came running across the living room with the cat hot on her ass. When Lily stopped running the cat stopped and started hissing. The dog backed down. Today they had spent time apart respecting each others space. Lily decided about 20 minutes ago that Snickers needed an afternoon meet and greet. All we heard were claws digging on hardwood as Lily attempted to escape Snickers response. Lily ran to the couch and got between Carol and I. She was shaking with fear and has not left the couch since.

It would appear at least for the moment we have a top cat.

Ambassador?

It seems like almost every day I hear something on the news that makes me this. "What the fuck is going on here? "  Dennis Rodman just got back from a trip to North Korea. He met with the troll who runs that mess. Dennis thinks that he's not that bad a guy and that most of the problems were created by the troll's father. I've learned a few things over the years about athletes. Try not to be too offended.

First, lots of guys who are really good at sports are not very bright. If you believe in God then maybe it makes sense. Maybe God says you get to be really good at hitting a baseball, or shooting basketballs or running really fast but you don't get to be really smart. Physically gifted, mentally not so much. I know it is not a perfect correlation every theory has some exceptions. Stephen Hawking can't hit a curve ball and Michael Jordan likely knows very little about theoretical physics. Every now and then there is a guy who is smart and athletic. A freak of nature. Just proof to me that God does make a mistake now and then. Midgets, Andre the Giant, snakes, spiders, Glenn Beck, you know creepy shit.

Second, Charles Barkley probably said it best. He claimed to be a basketball player not a role model. Dennis needs to keep in mind he is a former player and not an ambassador. Should he be a representative of the United States? I guess we could do worse. We could use him to say we stick pieces of metal through our faces just for fun. We are tough. Dennis may be crazy as a shithouse rat but no one should ever question how tough he is.

Finally, since Dennis is really tall and apparently likes hanging out with short dictators maybe we should arrange a side trip for him to Iran. They have another short troll in charge. Might be fun?