Battlefield Brain

Optimist or pessimist? Is it just something that goes on in my head or do all of us fight this battle? I spent my working career talking to criminals and drug addicts. They are among the most practiced liars on the planet. So the optimist in you gets his ass kicked every day by the manipulation and lies. The pessimist in you says it shouldn't have been a surprise. Over the long haul I guess my personal view has come to be the following. If you are doing something I wonder why. What is in it for you? Everyone acts based in some manner on what is in their best interest. You are being nice. What is the reward for you? The acclaim of others that you are a nice person? At the end of life a trip to eternal paradise? My thought process tends to look for what your motivation might be. If I can't find one then I think I must have missed something. The optimist in me just wants to believe that you are just a good person. The pessimist in me is screaming: "Have you lost your fucking mind? NOBODY is good for no reason." It is clear to me that optimism is painful. You expect good things from others. The world is going to be a bright and happy place. Things are going well and then life takes a giant shit on your existence. Disappointment and heartbreak are your new companions. Despair has kicked hope's ass.

So aside from avoiding lightning strikes are their advantages to being a pessimist?

1. Bad new is never a surprise. Car stops running, bank tells you that your account is overdrawn, letter from the IRS in the mail. These are not surprises you saw all these things coming. You expected them to happen. If you were an optimist these all would have been surprises. These things would have crushed your spirit. Your spirit can't be crushed. You are a pessimist. You can't kill something that is already dead.

2. You always have a plan ready to deal with bad news. I have one. I sit and stuff food in my mouth and drink lots of beer. Things are still bad, time for more food and more beer. Not getting any better, time to go to the store for more food and more beer. Eventually it is time to go for more food, more beer and new clothes.

3. No one tries to make small talk with you. Imagine someone asking you that seemingly innocent question: "How's it going?" If you respond honestly, let's be realistic here, your friends and coworkers will stop asking and do their best to avoid all conversation with you. No more worries about having to talk about Dancing with the Stars, Hoarders, Duck Dynasty or any other stupid "reality" show.

It is always the question of is the glass half empty or half full. Really? You bastards got a glass? I didn't get a glass. Your glass has stuff in it. Half full/half empty? Who cares. Well a true pessimist would.

 Half empty, half full, who cares! It's piss!

Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. There are those who feel Murphy was too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

So at the end of the day which choice do we make? I look and see some folks preparing for doomsday. Stocking up on ammunition and food. Getting ready for a terrorist attack, earthquake, flood, fire, or whatever other horrible thing their minds can imagine. Personally I think they are a little bit crazy. The optimist and the pessimist in me agree that if, for instance, a giant asteroid was to strike earth my house would be at the exact center of the crater. No need to prepare for doomsday cause I am DEAD. The optimist in me hopes for it and the pessimist in me accepts their can be no other possible outcome. My life is in balance.

So whatever may happen I think a healthy balance of both is in order. Hope for the best and realize sometimes even the best outcome holds the seeds for a future disaster. Maybe Alfred E. Newman had it right when he said: "What, me worry?"