English- No habla

I grew up in the United States of America. In the great Midwest. All I heard was English. Midwestern American English. I don't remember the first time I heard a foreign language. I don't speak any foreign language. I wish sometimes I did. I said all that to say this. My part time neighbors are Lebanese. English is not their primary language and sometimes what is very clear and simple to me is as complex as rocket science to them. The more I think about it the more I understand their confusion. I am still trying to learn English.

I learned a while back about contronyms. In school you learn about synonyms and antonyms.Contronym is a word that can be it's own antonym.. Here are some examples.

So in order to understand what the word means you must understand the context in which it is being used. It is unfortunate that I see in the writings of others a misunderstanding of there, their and they're. They seem to lack the understanding of which to use and they grew up speaking English.

Part of the problem is the number of words in the English language. We seem to want to name everything. Take the words above. How do you determine how many words there are in English. Is bolt one word or two. The noun for the physical item or the verb for running away? Do you count both? Then their are the various types of bolts (carriage, eye, allen, hex) are the two separate words or hypenated? We haven't even gotten to my wife's favorite- bolts of fabric. Another item altogether.

Animals also provide confusion for my neighbors. I tried talking about an owl one night when one was hooting in the woods while we were visiting with them. Apparently Lebanon does not have owls. New information for me.

When I worked at the Mary Davis Home we had to take the deliquents out to visit the doctor. We utilized the skills of Dr. Hill when he first arrived in Galesburg. He is from Great Britain so he speaks British English. I would take the young gentlemen and go in the exam room with them. Dr. Hill would say: "Pull up your jersey and pull down your trousers." It result, without exception, that the young man would look at me bewildered. I would say: "Shirt up, pants down. Don't worry Dr. Hill I will translate for you."

George Carlin was one of my favorites. He was always pointing out stupid things we all say and really don't think about. One of my favorites was: Mr. Carlin, you can get on the airplane now." He would reply with: "Fuck you, I'm getting in the airplane." A subtle yet important distinction for an airplane passenger.

I talked to many inmates when I worked at the prison who at least alleged they spoke little or no English. I admit that too often my response to "no English" was to speak slowly and loudly as if being unable to understand English was a hearing impairment. Somehow when I was done trying to communicate with them and said: "Get the FUCK out of my office." they all understood enough to leave.

So when you talk to someone who does not speak English as their primary language be aware that you may not be communicating as effectively as you think. As for me, my lifelong quest to understand English continues. So there or their or they're. One has to be right. Wright?