Solutions? Didn't Realize There Was a Problem

Sometimes you get things in the mail and you don't know how or why you got them. This one landed in our mailbox on Tuesday the 25th.

 Seems like a good idea. Who doesn't want products that make life easier.

 Battery powered beauties. Teddi and Lilly might like a little mood lighting to pee by.

 Pest control seems like a good idea. Keep those damn mosquitos away.

Solid hardwood, should have seen this as a warning about was was ahead.

Did not see that on the hoirzon. Flip the page in the catalog and they want to put you in a happy place. I like how they start the page off with "It's all about options." Move quickly to "Bends so you can reach new levels of pleasure." They can't be talking about us old people. Bending. Please. Bubbles massager! Is that her name? Vibrating, rotating, waterproof. Instant delivery. How could an old man compete with that? I'm not even sure what to say about item E. Does that come with an instruction manual? Somehow sex education in the 1960's missed all this. Let your inner flower bloom? WTF. In case you get curious be careful what you google.