Surround Yourself

The best thing about retirement isn't having all the free time you want. It isn't getting to do whatever you want to do any day and any time of day. The best thing is being able to choose the people you associate with on a regular basis. When you work you don't get to choose your coworkers. The boss or personnel makes that choice for you. Working in a prison you get to work with whoever happens to have broken the law and shows up at the prison that employs you. It was fortunate that I had some great coworkers. People I enjoyed working with every day. I had a boss that was not much fun but that often comes with being employed. It wasn't that she was evil she just ended up being consumed by her abuse of alcohol. My father died in 1999. She and I worked together at the time. She was my boss and my office was literally five steps from hers. She would see me multiple times each day. Sometime in mid to late 2001 she decided to make an attempt at idle conversation. Try to seem more personable and interested in her subordinates. So she asks: "How is your father doing?" I simply replied: "He's still dead." It didn't anger or disappoint me because I understood it was just another sign of her descent into alcoholism. It really wasn't too much longer, perhaps a year or two and it killed her. The point being there was no choice but to associate with her. I was well into my career. Too old to change jobs and too dependent on the money it provided to leave.

What brought this all to mind is something that happened yesterday. We were working helping our son's mother in law paint the house she just bought. We also had a club meeting that afternoon. We had decided that helping our friend with her house was more important than the meeting. One of the members called and asked if the meeting was still on due to the weather. She was told it was and decided to go and enjoy the company of the other members. When she walked in the door to the meeting one of the leaders muttered: "What is she doing here?" The group meets once a month for a couple of hours. There are ofter 20+ members in attendance. Carol and I usually don't even have time to have a personal conversation with each person who attends. So, why say something rude and stupid like that? I cannot figure it out. What I have determined is that I am no longer interested in being a part of that group. Not because one person said something stupid but because everyone who heard it did nothing.

Mark Twain once said: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the great make you feel that you, too, can become great." So the choice becomes who do you choose to spend you time with? It would seem a better idea to surround myself with positive, cheerful, supportive and loving individuals. I don't have any obligations which require me to do anything else. I don't have to tolerate rude and alcoholic bosses or groups where people can't get along for a couple of hours a month. It just goes to reenforce my belief that I belong out here in BFE. Not joining the herd. Not being a part of a group. Life will go on for those groups without me just as this club will exist even in my absence.