Just Throw a Fucking Dart

The 24 hour news cycle is making me crazy. Today Malaysian Air lost a passenger jet flying over Ukraine. Now honestly at this point what we know for a fact is that the plane carrying 295 souls has crashed and everyone on board is presumed dead. Why did the airplane crash? It seems like all the news (?) programs have lots of theories.

Russian surface to air missile fired by Russian separatists in Ukraine.
Russian surface to air missile fired by Ukraine.
Russian surface to air missile fired by Russian military
Terrorists with new undetectable bomb materials
Terrorists attacking Malaysian Air after successful attack 3 months ago where airplane wasn't recovered.
Mechanical malfunction.

They feel obligated to talk continuously even when there isn't anything left to say. So they wander from theory to theory getting various "experts" to come on the air and puke out their best guess. Really at this point that is all there is, guesses. If they stayed with what they knew to be facts the "special report" would last about 5 minutes instead of 4 hours. We could go back to the really important things that are normally on television. You know, that big blowhard Dr. Phil talking to some parents who have no parenting skills about how fucked up their kid is because they are idiots. Don't worry, he will fix 15 years of poor parenting in an hour, if you include commercials. Maybe we could watch some celebrity fix a special meal on the Chew. Katie Couric could throw out some of the crap she seems to come up with every day. We could watch the ladies on the View argue about issues that they seem to have no real understanding or information about.

Since everyone else has a theory about the airplane crash today I will share mine. We have allowed gay marriage, abortion, birth control, and pornography. We have prevented prayer in school and denied Christian principles in our government. Our President is a Muslin, socialist, foreigner. We are being invaded by diseased children from Central America who are getting green cards, food stamps and cell phones while our precious veterans are being denied basic medical services while the IRS investigates conservative groups and takes control of our healthcare. As a result of our ongoing sinful ways and our failure to support god's chosen people Israel in Gaza it was Jesus who swatted the airplane out of the sky like a fly. You know god the father was vengeful, I read the old testament. He was always killing somebody. Ask the folks who lived in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Sorry about all that stuff but I threw my darts and they all landed on the crazy conspiracy part of the dart board. I threw lots of darts hoping for a different result but they kept landing in the area marked out for Fox News.