Outdoors

It is difficult to find something worthy of writing about every day. The goal is a blog post a day this year. Here we are in January and already the pressure is being felt. Hanging around the house today scanning pictures and wondered what the hell will today's topic be. It was time to go out and get the mail when inspiration struck. It is cold today and, at least for guys, a trip from a warm house to the cold outdoors makes the urge to pee sudden and urgent. It isn't just me who is affected this way, is it??? Anyway off to the mailbox I go. It isn't a long trip, maybe 75 yards each way but it isn't like in town where you reach out the front door and never really leave the house. As I walk to the mailbox the urge to pee grows with each passing step. Growing up on the farm you tend to look at the world as your personal urinal. I mean you would like a bit of privacy but I admit I have been stared at by a variety of farm animals. They don't appear offended and often are not even mildly interested. Today the temperature outdoors is about 15 degree F with a light wind from the west. When peeing outdoors wind is a consideration if you want to keep your shoes dry. It is also a consideration when aiming at a target. Yes ladies I know, we can't hit a toilet at knee level so how do we expect to hit something on the ground. I could argue that if a supreme being did not want us to pee on ants or spiders he wouldn't have us standing up and them crawling on the ground. Clearly with today's weather there is no chance of having an insect target. The other thing that is obvious to me is that I don't want to expose my delicate parts to this kind of weather. Peeing outside will wait for more temperate conditions. My thoughts then went to having 6 granddaughters. The logistical aspects of girls peeing outdoors is much more complicated than it is for us fellas. It would seem that there should be some way to make it easier. Then I happened across this fine invention.

 

It seems to level the gender gap in outdoor peeing. The young lady appears to have the technique mastered. Feet apart, back straight, eyes on target. She appears to be using the two hand grip which may be necessary when using an assist device. You would hope at some point the ladies could graduate to one handed technique and have the other hand available to wave at passerbys or swat at annonying insects. They will need to remain cognizant that if the person next to you starts talking you should turn your head only, not your body. They may not want you peeing on their shoes. In a strict interpretation of man law there is no talking during peeing and certainly no head turning. Eyes straight forward looking at something as though it has the formula for turning lead into gold. You ladies advance to one handed then you will have a hand free to scratch whatever itches. Try it, you might just enjoy the experience. Until there are advances in peeing assist devices it appears unlikely you gals will be able to utter those famous words, "Look Ma, no hands!!!"