Really Tampa, REALLY?

It is winter in the heartland. Our hearts have turned to ice and our nuts have retreated so far into our bodies that it appears we have three adam's apples. The temperature this morning a rather brisk -6 degrees F. There was a light wind blowing so the wind chill was a modest -12 degrees F. In a few days that will seem absolutely grand as the bottom is going to fall out and the temperature on Monday morning is projected to be close to -20 degrees F. The wind chill will bring what it feels like to somewhere near -45 degrees F. This is not to complain about the weather here. It is our choice to live here. We are retired and like so many other retirees could say a fond "Fuck you!" to Illinois and this type of weather. It does enter into our discussions from time to time but so far no effort has been added to idle conversation.

You may wonder what Tampa, Florida has to do with this. My dear friend and fellow blogger Mike on a regular basis complains about Florida. Since St. Petersburg was not specifically mentioned this morning its residents are exempt from my comments. We watch the morning news shows and of course today (January 3, 2014) the weather is big news. It is only big news because it is snowing and cold in New York City. The shows are based there and the only really important weather is the weather they have to experience. The fine weather folks based in New York were quick to point out that wind chill advisories were in effect as far south as Tampa, Florida. The weather application on my iPad makes it easy to check current conditions almost anywhere. In Tampa at the time of the report it was 40 degrees F with a wind chill factor of 38 degrees F. Oh, the suffering, the inhumanity of such brutal weather. While you can understand that it is not what they are accustomed to in Florida, it is tough to refer to that as a wind chill. In Illinois that is spring and fall motorcycle riding weather.

So, my advice dear Michael. Escape the land of sissy men in Florida. Return to BFE where real men marvel at how warm zero degrees feels after being out in -20 degree weather. Where men's beards are coated in ice. Where the snow crunches under your feet. Air so cold you can feel ice crystals on your nose hairs. Where wind chill actually means something.