BMI

It is just a fact of my life. I have always been fat, chubby. full figured, husky, extra large (not where you hope ladies) or in medical terms obese. Sure from time to time I lose weight and get smaller. The weight I lose always seems to find me again. Why doesn't money work that way? I have lost money in the past and it never seems to find its way back into my pockets. It would seem to me that would not be a difficult task. Don't extra large pants have extra large pockets. It would seem to me that if those fine folks at Levi put the same size pockets on 30 inch waist pants as they do on 42 inch waist pants the pockets would look a bit silly. Absent any scientific data or in store comparisons I declare this to be fact. Big pants have big pockets. I could therefore now be a Republican congressman or senator. They seem to get to make up their own facts. But I veer off course. Back to fat me, big pockets and lost money. Perhaps the money cannot get into my big pockets because my fatness has made the pockets too tight? Doesn't sound right. I can get my hand in my pocket and it is bigger than my money.You have to be able to get your hands in your pockets if you are a guy. How else are you going to scratch your balls in a crowded room? Society frowns on you sticking your hand down the front of your pants and having a good scratch fest. God forbid you are anywhere near a bush in a park. Likely to see a visit from the police if you scratch then. Damn, off the subject again. Back to the chart above.  First I am not much into charts because there are always multiple interpretations. I think for the chart above you are supposed to find your height and then your weight and it will tell you if you are underweight, normal, overweight or a fat bastard. I prefer an alternate reading. First find your weight. After all isn't that the thing you are worried about? Once you have found your weight look to see how tall you should be. I weigh just over 250 pounds. In order to be in the normal weight range I should be 7 feet tall. I am therefore not overweight, I am in fact short. It is now my goal to become taller. When I get to 7 feet my doctor and I will agree that my weight is normal. So if you are a few pounds over your ideal weight take some time to work on your height. This is today's public service announcement. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.