Another year goes by

As the years pass by seemingly quicker and quicker I realize I have fewer of them left. One wonders with the limited time left what to do. How do you prioritize? Some many things to accomplish and so little time. I came across a quote recently that has stayed with me. Ben Franklin: "The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example... to all men, charity." I have stated in the past and continue to believe that the biggest loss in our society has been civility. We can disagree without being disagreeable. The fact that you and I can look at the same facts and come to different conclusions does not make me smart and you stupid. It doesn't even make me right and you wrong. Often, the things we think are facts, are in reality not facts at all. If they were then we would continue to know the earth is flat and at the very center of the universe. That the sun rotates around the earth. We gain knowledge and the "facts" we knew become ignorance we walk away from into a new reality. Now it appears that many believe if you say something loudly and frequently it suddenly becomes true. The solution to shootings at our schools is to introduce more guns to the equation. It sounds to me like the way to put out a gasoline fire is to add more gasoline. After all when all the gas is burned there will be no more fire. There is a solution to gun violence but that solution will not be reached by the various factions screaming at each other. When did civilized conversation and compromise become a sign of weakness? How did this part of our everyday lives become so impossible when we try to discuss public policy? Would we stay in a relationship, or even call it a relationship, if the other person always yelled, always wanted things their way, and never considered any alternative to their position?

So, to my enemies, I offer my forgiveness. It has no conditions or requirements. I forgive you fully and completely. I am sorry that things got to this point and I can and will do better by you. To those who disagree with me about anything and everything. I will listen with and open mind and heart. There is truth in your position as there is in mine. Together we can make progress and find solutions. To my friends, my ongoing commitment to be there in your time of need. The key in my mind to being a friend is to be the friend you would want to have. To my children and grandchildren I hope to be an example you can follow. Finally to all some measure of charity. Abraham Lincoln perhaps said it as well as any in his second inaugural address. "With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."

Maybe I should have just gone with Rodney King who stated at the time of the L.A. riots: "Can't we all just get along?"

Gun control

Gun control is one of those hot button issues. So many people, usually men, act like you are trying to cut off their dicks when you talk about gun control. It's okay fellas, you can keep your dicks. Your guns, well that is something we need to talk about. First off, yes I own guns. I used to hunt and at one time in my life enjoyed hunting. It seems as I get older I lack the blood lust for it. I just don't have the desire any more to go out and take another living creatures life. Yea, I know, still eat meat from the store. Didn't say my beliefs were consistent and besides cows, pigs, chickens and turkeys taste really good. Since I am familiar with hunting lets talk for a minute about assault rifles. Personally never seen anyone go out hunting with one. Now to be clear I don't want to confiscate your assault rifle, I just want you to know that I think it has one purpose and one purpose only. It was designed to kill people. If you want to go hunting with one be my guest but understand that I will make fun of you. Deer, coyote, whatever it is you want to hunt. You need a 30 shot clip? I spent most of my time hunting using a single shot rifle or shotgun. There were a couple of reasons. First, you think about what you are shooting at. Do you really have a shot? What else is in the area? Second, I figured if I didn't hit it with my one shot it either deserved to live or I needed more target practice. So keep your gun but honestly give up the high capacity clips. I have a Savage .308 rifle that holds 5 shells. It is bolt action so effectively if I were to hunt with it I would get one shot. So I would take away your large capacity ammunition clips. I would also suggest that ammunition designed to pierce armour is probably not needed for nonmiltary applications. For those who believe that some day they will need to fight the government, get some mental health counseling. If you think an armour piercing round from any gun you own is going to help you then you know less about the capabilities of our military than I do. If we get to that place they can turn any of us into a stain on the ground before we can do anything harmful to them. If we face an event that threatens the future of mankind on this planet then I hope the initial event kills me. I have watched too many of the survivalists on TV and frankly if they are the future I would rather be dead. Besides, I am old, beyond breeding age and would simply be using resources that could keep someone younger alive.
I am in favor of concealed carry but there must be rules and training. You cannot just turn people loose with guns and think they have any idea how to use them. We don't turn people loose with cars. You have to prove you are able to drive. You have to be tested. You must be of a certain age. You must have a license. Once again the paranoid will complain if I have to register myself or my guns the government my come to take them. Look out in your driveway. Your car is licensed. Is it still there? Has the government ever attempted to take it? If you continue with this attitude then you may fail the mental health portion of gun ownership that I feel should be required. Crazy people don't need to own guns. I know that criminals and crazy people don't care about laws controlling the ownership and use of guns. If we didn't have those laws then they could legally possess weapons. So we need those safeguards even if they only work part of the time. I am willing to jump through whatever hoops the government puts out if if prevents one death. Buying a gun or ammunition has never been an emergency purchase. When it is it will be too late anyway.
So bottom line for me, no high capacity clips, no military use ammuntion for civilians, registered and licensed concealed carry with restrictions. Okay fellas, take a minute and reach into your pants. Still got your dick?

I don't understand

I don't know how this will turn out or if it will adequately express the hundreds of things buzzing around in my head. Twenty children are dead as the result of one man's actions. Twenty. First graders. Many classrooms don't have that many children in them. Everyone wonders why. How? What could happen that would cause someone, anyone, to do something that before Friday most of us could not imagine happening. I spent my career talking to people that most never have the time, opportunity or desire to speak with. Murderers, drug dealers, theives, rapists, child molesters, I have spoken to every kind of criminal you can imagine. I can honestly say with a very few exceptions, and by very few I mean numbered on one hand, people I talked to that I believe were truly evil. One is serving life in prison for the rape, murder and dismemberment of 8 women in the northern Illinois area. Most of the men I talked to over the years had a moral compass that didn't point in the same direction as the majority of people. Theft, if you had it and they needed it, well it was fair game if you weren't careful. Murder, if you shamed them or belittled them then you risked their wrath. Did they take revenge farther than you or I would? Sure. Did that make them evil? Not in my mind. They still had a sense of right and wrong. It wasn't the same as yours or mine, but they had a line they wouldn't cross. Their morality was situational but they had a moral code of sorts. Child molesters would tell you they couldn't understand how one person could kill another. Murderers could never understand how an adult could have sexual pleasure with a child. Each thought the other was completely immoral. Both were at least partially correct. Were they evil? Maybe to some, but I could never see them that way. Could they be redeemed somehow? My mind wondered but my heart always felt they could. Pay your debt to society and go forth and sin no more. Not that man is inherently good. There is the capacity for good in all of us. Yes, and the capacity for great evil. What punishment is great enough for someone who murders twenty children? There is none that man can assess. I am not a believer. I don't blame god for what happened, and don't hate him for failing to prevent it. We have free will. We are responsible for the choices we make. It is tempting to believe in hell at this point. Maybe god could make him suffer enough for his actions. He is beyond our reach now so that is the only way it can happen. Since retribution is not an option and really never was I offer the following. Maybe The Beatles had it right. "All you need is love". Hate and fear will never overcome evil. It will ultimately be defeated by kindness and love. So if you want to honor the memory of the victims do a kind deed. A random act of kindness to someone you don't know. A stranger at the store, a passer by on the sidewalk.  I will never speak of the man who committed these murders. He wanted to be remembered and be famous. I will not participate in what he wants. He is dead and forgotten. When I do something kind and loving as a result of this outrage it will be in loving memory of the victims. Twenty children and six adults who did not deserve the fate they were dealt. I choose to remember them, to honor them, to do what I can to make the world a better place. Can I change the world? No. Can I change a little piece of it for a moment? Yes. When all the pieces are put together the puzzle is complete and the world is different.

Random thoughts

Sometimes I wonder about things. These are a few of the things that have raced across my brain today.

We have a wonderful puppy named Lily Lu. She is a Redbone Coonhound. I thought I understood dogs but I have never met one like her. Life to her is a world of smells. She experiences everything  through her nose. We go out so she can do her business and by business I mean shit and piss. She wanders about nose to the ground looking for a place to pee. When she finds the right spot she squats and pees. What does that spot smell like? Why that spot and not some other spot? What makes it special? She then moves on to find a place to take a shit. Does that spot have to smell different from the one where she pees? If you stop to shit or pee and the last place you smelled is in front of you aren't you pissing or shitting about a foot from where you last sniffed? Research tells us that dogs sense of smell is 10,000 to 100,000 times as acute as a humans. If you made it into a visual analogy what you see at one third of a mile a dog could see at 3000 miles just as clearly. A dog has up to 300 million olfactory receptors in their noses as compared to about 6 million in a human. A dog's brain has an area devoted to analyzing smells that is 40 times greater than ours. So back to Lily Lu. She will wander around the yard and walk up to a pile of her shit from a day or two ago. She sticks her nose about 2 inches from it and starts sniffing. I don't know about you but every now and then I take a shit that smells like it could peel the paint of the walls. I thank natural selection for not making my sense of smell 10,000 times stronger. It makes me wonder why Lily Lu has to get so close when she smells her shit. What odor is she smelling for? Why doesn't it make her gag or turn head away in disgust? I have no answers, just questions. If there is a god and he can answer all our questions these will be on my list. After all from what I understand of religion we will have eternity together and he knows everything.

Well while I was thinking about noses I got to thinking about cars. A natural connection would be made to why we find new car smell so enchanting. That might be your question, it wasn't mine. Essentially when we are driving a car we are traveling around in a portable room made of glass. We drive along (maybe it's just me) with our fingers stuck in our noses like we are mining for diamonds. Why do we sit in a glass room with other people all around us in their glass rooms and think no one can see us? We head bang to the music, play the air guitar or drums, scratch, pick, floss, and do a hundred other things we don't want other people to see. It raises the question. What happens to our brains when we drive. We all think we are good at it but we look at everyone else and think they suck. We all act like we are invisible when we are not. Why oh Divine one?

Finally my last issue with noses. We blow our noses into a tissue or handkerchief and then take a look at our handiwork. Why? What useful information to we hope to obtain? Did the Hope Diamond fly out of there and we caught it? Hate to throw anything valuable away. Have you ever found anything in that tissue or hankie that you wanted to keep? Was the vision of it somehow reassuring? Happy to see that there was no brain tissue involved? We all look. What the fuck are we looking for? I have yet to obtain any vital information from these reviews but I continue to do them. Why? I have no answer. God, this is another one for my list.

Pregnant?

There was plenty of news coverage this week regarding the pregnancy of one Kate Middleton, Duchess of WTF. She is Duchess of WTF because I don't know or care what she actually is duchess of. She is pregnant with the future king or queen of England. I have two things to say. First, Prince William, well done old chap. You should be hitting that every chance you get. My second point, really, who gives a shit. Ok, she's preggers. Happens to millions of women every year. The world doesn't stop to take notice. One of them is likely pregnant with a future Hitler or president of the United States, or Einstein. She is getting all the attention as she tosses her crumpets while junior wiggles around in her girly bits.
America faces a manufactured crisis that the media and politicians have dubbed the fiscal cliff. It is sort of the zombie apocalypse of government income and expense. If Congress doesn't act then apparently like Thelma and Louise we go over the cliff to our doom. It would seem clear to most by now that we might as well hold hands and step on the gas pedal. If we are expecting Congress to do anything we are bound to be disappointed. To me it looks more like a fiscal ski slope. We are headed downhill, and have been for a while. We are just trying to stay upright and reach the bottom of the mountain without breaking a hip or ankle. 
So what do a pregnant royal and a fiscal cliff have to do with each other. Well more news time is being spent on the pregnant royal than the demise of our way of life. I guess maybe we will just be distracted until one day we wake up and we have landed on our faces at the bottom of the cliff. Maybe if all goes well Kate's gigantic belly will cushion our fall, the impact will shoot the little king or queen of the future out of her splayed legs, and whoever catches the flying royal will win the Publisher's Clearing House.

WTF Two days in a row

First, yes it is two days blogging in a row. Second, I am on call with the AOW Ambulance service so if I get the call to duty this may be very short.

I spent some time the other day downloading music on to my Ipad. I was watching Colbert and he had The Killers on and they had a new album out. Their first album Hot Fuss was great. It was followed by what I considered a lackluster sophomore album called Sam's Town. They are a Las Vegas band made up of Mormon boys. I have been to Sam's Town and the casino was better than the album. I did jump off the bridge and bought the third album (Battleborn) having never heard a song off it. I am listening to all the songs I downloaded now and haven't heard one yet. I also downloaded the new Taylor Swift album Red. I find her music interesting and she seems so genuinely surprised by her popularity. The sceptic in me knows she is just a really good actress in that regard but the music lover in me wants it to be real. Don't we all believe the things we want even when we know better. Denial is so powerful.

I think the interesting thing in all of this is how the Ipod has changed the way we buy and listen to music. I have about 600 songs on my Ipod and about 75 on my Ipad. So many times it is one song by an artist. I rarely buy a complete album. I think back to my college days and 8 track tapes and cassette tapes. How many of those would I have to lug around to have that much music? I would  have to hire a servant just to carry it around and find the song I wanted to hear at the time. The same thing has happened with my reading. I have a Kindle and there are about 100 books on it. I don't have the storage problem with books any longer. Do I miss holding a book in my hands? Sometimes. It is so easy to bookmark and find the passages I want to read again. I feel better when I look at trees and realize that I am not participating in their demise for some trashy book like 50 Shades of Grey. Yeah, I read all three novels of "mommy porn".What are you going to do, tie me up and beat me for it? The books cost less on a Kindle and with a little creativity I can share them with my son and daughter in law. They get free books which is okay with them.

Some times you wonder if electronics have changed the world for the better. I don't know. It seems to have saved some natural resources that would have gone into books and records, or tapes or CD's. They have given you the opportunity to read an old man's senseless ramblings. You be the judge. Is it better or not?

Missouri, Must Love Rednecks

The weather is cooling in Illinois and I am less likely to be in the woods cutting firewood and more likely to be sitting at the computer blogging. I am hoping to provide you with more opportunities to look at the world through my twisted view.

Friday was the 38th anniversary of the best day of my life. That is the day that Carol joined me in the joys of wedded bliss. While every day has not been filled with rainbows and unicorns, I would not trade the last 38 years for those years with anyone else. She is and always shall be the love of my life.

We took a trip to Missouri wine country for our anniversary and had a wonderful weekend. We started off going to Augusta and visiting the local brewery and winery. Then off to visit a few other wineries in the area. When the day was done we went to Hermann, Missouri for an overnight stay at a bed and breakfast called the Wine Country Inn. After a meal at the Black Walnut (highly recommended by us if you want a great meal) then off to the Inn for a relaxing night trying some of the wine purchased earlier in the day. The next day we were off to West Plains to see some friends and that is when we happened across a few things that I found amusing.

Our first stop in the strange state of Missouri, a small town called Bland.

 

They are clearly proud of their over 100 years of Bland. I didn't get to talk to any of the residents of Bland but I suspect the celebration was somewhat muted. I can almost hear them saying things like: "It was okay, nothing special." or "Just another day in a blah life."

 





The Bland Christian Church would seem an unlikely place to hear any of the hell fire and brimstone preaching you expect in the Bible Belt. What do you think of Jesus? He's all right. You know, Prince of Peace, Lord of Lords, I guess all of that is okay and all. It's hard to get too excited when you are bland. As you will see things are about to change in Missouri. While many miles don't separate these towns I think my view of them puts them a universe apart.

We have arrived at Licking.Missouri. I enlarged this picture so you could see the sign in the background. They enforce the noise ordinance. Licking is okay but no slurping. Apparently if licking leads to excessive moaning or screaming you may be cited for an ordinance violation.

 



Now you have to ask yourself a question. Would you rather attend church at the Bland Christian Church or the Licking Pentecostal Holiness Church? I am sure in Licking Pentecostal you are sure to hear a few "Praise the Lord" and "Thank you Jesus" and "Oh God" along the way. If you don't perhaps you should head down the street for some training.

You can apparently take some training classes at Licking Elementary. It appears to have the support of the local Parent Teacher Organization. I think probably only the basics are taught there as down the street you could attend another school.

Yes folks you can move on to Licking High School. I think it is completely appropriate and perhaps a bit of bragging to indicate you are home of the "Wildcats". I guess if you are at that level in Licking you have reason to have confidence in your ability. Apparently for those folks who are adventurous they have the Licking Alternative School. I am hoping in the future to send off for a list of class offerings.

 

A progressive community Licking even has a Park Plaza. It is good to have a Licking Park. Monkey Bars, swings, slides, all the things one might need for a good time Licking.

 



No visit would be complete without a visit to the Licking water tower. Does it strike anyone else as odd that the word Licking is on the upright shaft of the tower rather than the tank? Seems like a message of some sort.

As we left Licking I noticed a road sign that  indicated Success, Missouri was 15 miles down the road. Another message? Classes, religion and some Licking Wildcat effort can eventually lead to Success. Those rednecks may be on to something.

Seasons

Spring or Fall? It is a question I can never answer. Should you have a favorite season? I think we all do. It is easy to eliminate summer- too hot. It is hard to get excited about a season that makes you sweat and smell bad. Winter, it has become too comercialized with Christmas. Well, that and I HATE cold weather. I think the Christian religions view of hell is wrong. It could just as easily be a place of unimaginable cold. Enough about religion. The weather is changing here and the trees are starting to give us some of that glorious Fall color. I took some pictures today and they explain why Carol and I choose to live out here in BFE.

This is the view off our front porch looking to the northeast.

This is the same view with a little telephoto enhancement.

This is a view to the east from the driveway. You can see the road turning back to the left. There are two houses east of us. One is unoccupied the other is a weekend get away for a family from Peoria. So most days the only traffic past us is the occasional farmer checking crops or cows.

The same view with telephoto enhancement.

This is the view off our deck looking west.

This beautiful red leaf is poison ivy. If it was this color all the time maybe I wouldn't get it 3 or 4 times a year. Actually I would because I know what it looks like all the time. Sometimes you just can't avoid it.
That is the view of our little corner of the earth taken today. Every day here is a joy and a blessing.

Random bullshit

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted anything and it came close to not happening again today. While living in BFE has its advantages (no close neighbors, no traffic, being able to pee in the yard) it does have disadvantages as well the main one today being extremely slow internet service. Some folks are bragging about their 4G coverage while I am just hoping to have some data coverage.

Anyway, I am here today to ramble about whatever I feel is important. Well at least important to me. First, the wood cutting continues and I now have a mountain of firewood. All  that needs to happen is for some folks out there needing wood to come haul it away. So far some have showed interest but no one has showed up with a truck. I don't cut or spilt wood when it is cold so if they are waiting for a cold spell and some help they will be working alone. Procrastinate at your own risk folks.

Lily Lu continues to grow and has become a real joy to be around most of the time. She has decided she is people and shows no interest in dog food. She is around the table at meals hoping for any left over food from our plates. She has learned her name but thinks we just say it so she will have another reason to run away from us. She runs for no reason other than the joy of  running and most days I say in my Forest Gump voice; "I just felt like running!" She goes nowhere at 100 miles an hour. When she is done we often get the following pose.



 



Since I am on the subject of attractive young ladies here is a picture of three lovely ladies who live in Rushville with their parents John and Mandie Sutor.

 

In the order they appear in the photograph, Vannessa, Johnnie and Audrey. They were recently preparing for the first day of school and pre-school. Pre-school is a concept my mother probably would have loved about 55 years ago. No pre-school or kindergarten for Bodine. Just off to first grade at age six to spend years in school buildings with my name under the list for those who were unfit to attend recess. Could explain why being locked in buildings with felons during my working career never bothered me. The girls are wonderfully behaved and a joy for their respective teachers. Must be the influence of their remarkable parents.

 

Our favorite bar Buddes recently held a beer versus wine tasting event. Carol and Pam had to woman the wine table and left Greg and I in charge of their purses. We wanted to sample some beers so we took the purses along. I have to questions for you dear readers. 1. Do you like my coy over the shoulder, come hither look? 2. Does Carol's purse make my ass look big?

 

The other thing I hope this picture says it that there is no level of thing I do that will cause me any shame. I will live life on my terms and if you like it that's okay. If you don't like it that is okay too. You liking or not liking what I do is not going to change anything.

 

 

 

 

Finally for  today I believe strongly in karma. You get back in life what you put out. Sure life will smack you in the head from time to time but that isn't because you did something wrong, it is just one of those tests. If you handle it then maybe things will turn around and if you don't you may get more until you see the light and change your ways. We are done for today, now go do the right thing and be kind to someone.

 

 

Motorcycling

I don't remember ever having a bad day on a motorcycle. Some haven't gone as well as hoped, but they were still good days. Recently my good friend Mike Blythe was back in BFE and we had the opportunity to ride together a few times. I openly admit that given my own devices I would rarely go ride with a group. This was a notable and glorious exception. It seems to me that when I ride I am rarely going anywhere. It is just me and Carol and the open road. So when we see a road that looks interesting or a place to stop and wander a bit we can do so and not feel like we are holding anyone else from something they would rather see or do. If we hadn't gone riding with Mike we never would have discovered the taste treat that is Davis Bros. Pizza. It is simply thin crust pizza at its finest. So, Mike, I will ride with you anytime. I am hoping the spring trip goes off as planned and we can spend a day or two on the open road.

I have always looked at motorcycles as a mode of transportation. Others see them as works of art. I marvel at times at their creations.

I don't know if this motorcycle could be ridden but she is a beauty to behold. Yes, I referred to the motorcyle as "she". I am a straight man and for me all beauty takes a female form and gender. I am an unashamed sexist pig. DILLIGAF!

 

I enjoy riding with Carol but when I look at the picture above there is another girl I would love to take along. The bundle of joy we call Lily Lu. Can't you just picture this sweet girl on the open road with us?

 



In contrast to my earlier statement that I prefer not to ride as a part of a group I did find a motorcycle gang that I would join. I think based on my age and the amount of pain riding causes now I qualify for immediate membership.

 

 

Finally, if you wonder why I ride, and will until I am no longer physically able, this picture should answer the question. Everytime I ride I feel like this. Somewhere deep inside, in a place no adult talks about, is a little kid. We hold him down and clean up his behavior to be socially acceptable. Every now and then those of us who own and ride mototcycles let him out to smile as we ride down the road. Reliving the days of our first tricycle or bicycle ride. The wind in our hair and if we are lucky our best buddies to one side and our best girl on the back. No longer an adult just a big goofy kid out having some fun with his friends. Smiles on our faces and bugs in our teeth.

Marriage

I sat the other day talking with a friend and learned after 20 years of marriage they were going their separate ways. The explanation was that they had raised their children and spent all their time and energy focused on the kids. The children had grown up and were more or less on their own and this couple realized that over the course of  that 20 year period they had grown apart. I honestly didn't know what to think other than: "This is really tragic." It was a couple who clearly at some point loved each other and were committed to raising their children together. Where did things go wrong? I'm sure that is a question that no one can really answer with complete certainty. The only marriage that you can ever really know is the one that you are in. I would like to say that Mrs. Sutor and I have had a wonderful and trouble free marriage and to some on the outside it may have appeared that way. It was not and in the future will not be. There are always obstacles to overcome and problems to be solved. The question becomes: do you want to do that on your own or with your best friend and life partner? We have been married almost 38 years. There have been ups and downs. Times when we struggled financially and wondered how we would keep family and home together. Times when we weren't happy with each other over work or friends or life in general. My friend who is getting divorced was somewhat surprised when I said how long Carol and I had been married. How did you manage to stay married so long? We are stubborn. Carol and I have often told others that we remain married because we vowed till death do us part and the other person just won't die. Too many relationships end because the couples lose sight of the promises they made in their vows. You know, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, forsaking all others. A good marriage is based on a few unbreakable laws. I would say rules but I have always believed that rules are made to be broken. Laws are not. Take gravity for example. If gravity was a rule I would try to break it, but I know if I jump off a tall building gravity is a law and I will most assuredly end up broken. So simply put, be honest and faithful. Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated. The couple getting divorced ignored each other as they raised their children and woke up to discover they didn't like how they had been ignored. If they had treated each other better over the years perhaps they would be staying married. A final word on forsaking all others. There are times in life when we meet others and the thought enters our head that maybe the grass is greener in another place. It always helped me to remember that if someone will cheat with you they will also cheat on you. There can be no real happiness with that person because you know that they have been unfaithful with you. Even if they are not cheating you will always wonder if the opportunity presents itself would they cheat. If life teaches you nothing else you know the opportunity will be there some day. So you will always feel somehow insecure in the relationship. That my friend is not the way to build a lasting marriage.

Random shit

I wish today's blog had a theme but there are just a few things flying around in my head that need to be let out. I am beginning to fear that if I hold them in much longer my head will explode.

Motivation! Why do so many people think I need to be motivated. I go to web sites and they try to convince me to make a difference. Change the world. Carpe Diem. Fuck all of you bastards. Today I am going to sit on the couch and let it suck the life out of me. The only thing that will be different at the end of the day is the thickness of the sofa cushion and the number of empty beer cans in the recycling bin. I don't want to give a shit today and you can't make me. If that old lady needs help crossing the street she will need to wait till  tomorrow or find someone who gives a shit.

It should read beer but you can't be too picky about stuff you steal off other sites on the internet.

Yesterday we went down to our neighbors for a visit. They are from Peoria and come out to the "farm" usually for the day. They have finished fixing up the house down the road and spent the night there for the first time. They honestly are wonderful people and I don't want anyone to mistake my rants for some sort of racist bullshit. It is just straight bullshit. We went down for lunch yesterday and were the only two people present who did not speak arabic. Some of the visitors to their home had little or no english skills. I don't have a problem with that as they are recent immigrants from Lebanon. English is a tough language to learn. If you have any question about that just listen to someone speaking a foreign language and pick out the words they speak in english. They do that because we keep adding new words and rather than invent their language's equivalent they just use the english word. Anyway we spent about 3 hours sitting there listening to them chat in arabic about whatever it was they were talking about. Sometimes we could figure it out based on hand gestures or  how the kids responded to what  was said. It gives you an appreciation of how difficult it must be for them on a dialy basis when we speak and they try to figure out our conversations. I have found over the years we have been visiting with them that the toughest things are words that sound the same but have different meanings like there, their and they're and slang. The shortcuts we can take in language with a native speaker of american midwestern english are often problematic with them.

I find it offensive that some have attempted to make political issue out of Mr. Romney's Mormon religion. I think the above pretty much should lay that issue to rest. Don't examine his religious beliefs too closely until you take a serious look at your own.

This will be my last swipe at religion and the end of today's blog. There is a sofa cushion calling my name and a beer in the frig that needs to find its way into my pie hole.

Humor

I've been thinking about humor for the last few days. The cause of these thoughts is my working buddy Nate. Sometimes he tries to be funny and it just doesn't work. Other times he is just Nate and I find him to be amazingly humorous. The other day he was describing a very attractive young lady. How pretty she was and how she had a very nice body. He then said: "She is built like a shit brickhouse." I know what he meant to say but this was actually much better. What exactly does that mean? I know in Nate's mind it was something good but I think if he said it to her she would most likely take offense. So with that in mind I offer the following. You may find them funny or offensive. Maybe both. If you like them fine, if you don't DILLIGAF!

If I was the devil I think I would spend so time around Baptists. I would assume they consider masturbation a sin so perhaps they are trying to keep the devil from a sinful "do it yourself" activity.

Since I have chosen to offend Baptists why not go for the gold and offend all Christians.

George has a point here. Maybe if Christians looked a little deeper into their holy books they would have a little more compassion for the down trodden. Keep in mind that from whom much is given, much is expected and that we are our brothers keeper. Humor had to take a momentary detour because Mr. Carlin always makes us think. I miss him.

Sometimes it feels like that much toilet paper would be needed to do the job.

Another reason I don't miss working at a prison. Low bidder, state contract toilet paper sucks.

I would buy this product every time. Truth in advertising.

We have come full circle my dear reader. Making fun of the mentally challenged. There will be a special place in hell for me. No, not really since I don't believe in heaven or hell. When I am dead then I am dead.

Truth

It is a simple thing. Tell the truth. Not some of the truth, but all of the truth. Put your hand on the Bible or in Mitt Romney's case perhaps the Book of Mormon and swear to the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Is it too much to ask of the two men running for the office of the President of the United States? Mr. Romney recently stated that it diminished the office of the President for Mr. Obama to say things that were not true while running for reelection. Now Mr. Romney runs an advertisement stating that President Obama has removed the work requirement from welfare so now people will just get a check and do not have to look for work or get training to get a job. The truth is that two Republican governors requested waivers for the welfare law and those requests were approved by the Obama administration provided that they DID NOT ELIMINATE OR WEAKEN THE REQUIREMENT THAT WELFARE RECIPIANTS GET JOB TRAINING AND ACTIVELY SEEK EMPLOYMENT. So what we have now is two LIARS running for the office of President. Mr. Obama has lied as well just not about welfare reform. You can't tell us the truth. Don't tell us what the other guy is going to do, tell us your plan for America going forward. Let us look at both plans and decide which one is best based on its merits. Just tell us the truth.

We spend about 700 billion dollars a year on national defense. The country that spends the next highest amount is about 5 times less than that. Who are we protecting ourselves from? We need more attack submarines and aircraft carries to fight which enemy? We need bases in Japan and Germany because 60+ years after we kicked the crap out of them in World War 2 they continue to be a threat to our national security? When will that end? 4000+ combat deaths in Iraq and 2000+ in Afghanistan. Are we safer now than we were 10 years ago? Make the case for this crazy amount of spending. Come on Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama. Make your best case. We are waiting. People are losing their homes and their jobs are going overseas. The money wasted in the defense budget could help those folks out or at least reduce the deficit.

The TRUTH, is it too much to ask?

Lily Lu

It has been a busy summer and I have neglected this blog for far too long. My loyal and odd helper Nate has moved here from South Dakota and we are back in the woods cleaning up invasive brush, cutting down unproductive trees and getting ready to plant new seedlings. So when we are done working for the day I am just to tired to do this and my head feels empty. Today, finally, RAIN! Not a random shower, real, honest to god, thunder and lightning, by the bucket full, RAIN. So, no work in the woods today. Time to talk about our new family member.

As you may be aware our beloved dog Candy passed away in March. I would like to say I have gotten better about it but even typing that line brings tears to my eyes. Had to take a kleenex break. I professed at the time that I would never have another dog. Carol wanted to go look at some puppies in July and I told her I would go along for the ride. Some friends had some 6 week old Redbone Coon Hounds and Carol wanted to see them. Nate and I were done working for the day and he asked to tag along. Carol fell in love with a little female and decided on the name Lily Lu. I have held to my statement that I would never have another dog. Carol picked her out and Lily Lu is her dog.

This is the wonderful Miss Lily Lu protecting one of the prized possessions. Yes it is a big black bone. If you believe everything you hear apparently all large bones are black. Why, I wonder, does it appear to have testicles on both ends? Those should probably be issues for a different blog entry. Back to the Lily Lu story. She is cuter than this picture. She is a genius. She thinks the world is made up of things to be smelled and chewed. I am one of her smelly, chewy things.



I submit  as proof of Lily Lu's genius the photo above. She goes to the box every morning with Carol and prances happily back to the house with the paper in her mouth. She almost always is willing to give it to me in exchange for a tasty treat. Beggin Strips are her absolute favorite. If she does not get the treat she is  willing to turn the newspaper into confetti.

After a hard day being a growing puppy it is time for a nap on the couch. Lily Lu lives for three things. Attention, food and sleep are the mainstays of the days. If only life for the rest of us could be that simple. We have a lot to learn from Lily Lu.

Lily has helped me learn a couple of things. Puppies and 58 year old men have at least one thing in common. We need to get up and pee sometime during the night. Monday night at three in the morning Lily Lu felt the call of nature. Carol was sleeping soundly so I decided to take the little lady out to do her jobs. Leaving a warm bed and stepping out into the 60 degree night air meant that I felt a sudden and urgent need to pee as well. Lily Lu was busy doing her job and I thought this allowed time for a quick pee. I dropped my underwear to my knees and let fly. Your thought processes are not as quick at three in the morning and quick pee is no longer an ability I possess. Lily finished her pee and started to wander about on the leash. She gave a quick look my way and decided it was time to take a closer look. Thinking as quickly as my sleepy brain would allow I determined that peeing on the dog was not a good option. I redirected my aim closer to my feet to avoid giving Lily Lu a golden shower. After a few seconds I realized that I no longer heard the familiar sound of urine hitting the ground. Yes folks I had brought the aim a little too far in and was in fact peeing in my underwear. I don't have a degree in physics and cannot understand how urine can exit your body at alomost 100 degrees and after exposure to the air for a few seconds is like ice water. I pulled my underwear up to my cold and now shrivled daddy parts and made a shameful walk back to the house to throw them in the washing machine. Lily Lu and I still pee outdoors but I am more aware of what both of us are doing.

Hot, Hot HOT

It has been a busy and hot week. I have, as a result, neglected my blogging responsibilities. My able helper Nate is back on duty and we are getting lots of work done. He is full of the vim and vigor one would expect from a twenty year old man. A couple of years ago I could keep up with Nate and from time to time out do him. Those days appear to be gone. Our recent work has been cutting firewood, removing brush and tearing out fencing. None of it is fun work or easy. Last week temps were in the mid to upper 90's with heat indexes as high as 115. There was a breeze most days and if you could work in the shade it was decent. Working out in the sun was simply brutal. The fence Nate and I are taking out was put in about 50 years ago. We are taking out trees that have grown up through it and digging the bottom wire or two out of the dround. We are hoping to finish the removal portion tomorrow and start on building new on Thursday. Expected high on that day is 97. Should be fun. We are likely to quit about noon to avoid the afternoon heat. If you are working outdoors over the next few days drink lots of fluids and take breaks as needed.

Immigration

Immigration is a sensitive subject for most of us. After all aside from Native Americans we are all immigrants. My great-great grandparents came to North America in the early 1860's originally settling in Canada. They moved to the United Staes in the mid 1860's and bought the home farm in 1869. President Obama issued an Executive Order last week changing enforcement of some immigration laws. He did not change the law he simply ordered that the limited enforcement capabilities of the United States government should be prioritized in a diffent manner. His order stated that illegal immigrants who were under 30 years of age, who came to the United States before the age of 16' who had a high school diploma or GED or had served in the United States military and who did not have a criminal record with more than one misdemeanor conviction could apply for a two year deferment from deportation. The deferment is eligible for review if Mr. Obama is still president in two years. Republicans are up in arms arguing that these illegal immigrants are going to take jobs away from American citizens and that President Obama is not fulfilling his obligation to enforce the laws and constitution. My brief response is that this is little different than actions taken by previous Presidents of both parties to address issues with immigration. I must at this point relay my personal experiences with this issue. I worked for the Illinois Department of Corrections for almost 21 years. I personally made arrangements for over 100 inmates to be picked up by immigration authorities for deportation. These were all convicted felons who will continue to be deported under the new Executive Order. I agree that this should be done. They were in the United States illegally and made the choice to violate the law. The consequences should include deportation. I have, however, sat down and explained the process and had inmates sign paperwork to move the deportation process forward. Some, and I admit, not many indicated and there records supported their allegation they had been brought to the United States as infants or very young children. I would advise them where in Mexico, central or South America they were going. Some had no memory of living anywhere but the United States and did not speak Spanish. President Obama is doing his best in this case to be fair. The individuals involved in this program were brought here by their parents. They had no choice. They have attended our schools, speak our language, have served in our military. Don't they deserve some consideration before we deport them while we try to address more comprehensive immigration reform? Republicans argue that President Obama is pandering for votes. They are most likely correct. Mr. Romney is changing his position in an attempt to appeal to Latino voters. Let's just stop the counter charges by both sides and just vote based on the issues. When I sat across from those men and listen to their plight and knew they would be deported it was tough. It was the right thing to do and still is for those who will not obey our laws. When you put a human face on it I would hope your attitude would change.

One Year

Today marks the one year anniversay of a day I will never forget. Carol wanted me to build a rack to hold some of our ever increasing inventory of home made wine. It had rained the night before and my ladder was laying in the yard down at the neighbors. After going to get it I set it up in the garage and climbed up to get some wood from the attic space over our laundry room. Instead of climbing up and down the ladder I was just dropping pieces of wood to the floor. I dropped several then felt the ladder slip just a little bit. When it did I jerked involuntarily and the ladder started to slide down the wall. I remember thinking on the way down that I had fallen in a similar manner a couple of months before and while it would hurt it was no big deal. I was wrong. When I hit the floor I went to push myself up and realized my left arm wouldn't work. I went in the house and called to Carol who was working in the basement. I told her I needed to go to the hospital and she panicked just a bit. She did a good job getting me there although I did get some grief from the ambulance service I volunteer with for not calling them. The emergency room nurse cut off my shirt and when the doctor came to the door he said I had dislocated my shoulder. I got an IV and some medication to ease the pain, then an X-ray to make sure no bones were broken. The doctor came back in and said he was going to try to put it back in place but was doubtful since he was small and I'm large and according to him muscular. He ordered more medication to put me in "twilight sedation". He told me to count from ten and when I got to negative 30 he ordered more medication and asked me to name our grandchildren. My memories for the next several hours are jumbled. The ER doctor made two attempts to put my shoulder back in place, both unsuccessful. I asked Carol what I said during the procedures and she said just ouch a couple of times. I tend to have a rather blue vocabulary and was concerned I had been rude to the staff. I went in and out of awareness and about every five minutes I would ask Carol if they had done the procedure yet. She would kindly tell me they had but it didn't work and the orthopedic surgeon would be working on me later in the day. Apparently I did this for about four hours just like clockwork every five minutes. Is it any wonder why I love this woman? There are times I could aggravate Helen Keller. Dr. Schierer took me to an operating room, had me completely knocked out and got my parts back where they belonged. I was back home by 6 pm with my arm in a sling. I saw Dr. Schierer a week later and then started physical therapy. When that didn't work as planned I was sent for an MRI which showed I had torn my rotator cuff. Dr. Schierer did surgery to repair that on August 30th and after a couple of weeks it was back to physical therapy. I finished physical therapy in January because I had used all the sessions my insurance would cover. It has now been a year. Is my shoulder back to normal? No. Will it ever be? I don't think so. It has been very difficult to regain the strength I lost. It is amazing how quickly you lose strength when you cannot use a muscle and how hard it is to get it back. I am back to my normal activity but some things take longer, more gets done one handed and it often hurts to use my left arm. If you ever wondered about insurance I offer the following. I am in an HMO and my total out of pocket was less than $1,000. I was in the hospital twice and never stayed overnight. The total for those two partial days was over $60,000. That amount does not include the doctor or physical therapy costs. A moment of poor judgment, lots of pain and $60,000. My advice, do what I didn't do, have someone hold the bottom of the ladder. Carol was home and would have done it if I had asked. Stupid Jeff!

Random comments

Several trips past the hawk nest over the past few days have yielded no sightings of the young hawks. The sign that assures me they have left the nest is the absence of the mother hawk when I stop to check. It had been a joy watching them grow up and now leave to take their place in the world. Raccoons have been coming up on our deck almost every night and defecating near our door. I put out a live trap and yesterday when we got up there was a young raccoon in the trap. I took him out back and disposed of him. Last night his mom and sibling came back looking for him. They avoided the trap and I did not shoot them. They did manage to eat all the marshmallows out of the trap so tonight we switch to cat food. I go to sleep every night with the hope that I don't catch a skunk. We had timber harvested off out property four years ago. The last couple of days I have been out in the woods with a tractor and a chain hauling tree tops into the pasture so I can cut them into firewood. The past two years I have had my able assistant Nate working with me. This year I am alone. It has good and bad points. On the good side I get to start and quit whenever I want. I don't have to listen to anyone yammering about anything. On the bad side it is lots more work and I get less done. The last couple of days the temperature has been over 90 degrees and that adds another level of misery. Last year I got my EMT license and began volunteering with the local ambulance service. I dislocated my shoulder and was unable to volunteer. Tonight is my first shift in over a year. I will be on call from 6 pm tonight to 6 am tomorrow morning. There is plenty of nervous anticipation. I hope all goes well and I can handle any calls that come in.

Fathers Day

I felt lucky on Fathers Day. Lucky to have three healthy children. Lucky to have six healthy granddaughters. Lucky to have a wife who was willing to be a mother. I made it clear to her that she was the only reason I was a father. Our children our reasonably well adjusted adults who work and provide for their families. I don't say that to shine a light on me or Carol. We made lots of mistakes as our children grew up. I think that you get closest to figuring out how to be a parent when your last child leaves home. Then you have to sit back and watch your children try to raise your grandchildren trying you damnst not to interfere. They don't want you to raise their kids because they remember you weren't so good at it and they KNOW they can do better. As lucky as I am there are two things I wish for every Fathers Day. Carol and I got married in late 1974. In early 1975 her father had a heart attack and was revived after being without oxygen for too long. The doctors thought he would live a few days. He lived 12 years in a body that wouldn't die that had a brain that did. He never got to see or hold any of his grandchildren. We thought we would have time to do things with him later. We didn't. Every year I wish it had been different. The second thing I wish for is more time with my Dad. He died of lung cancer in 1999. It would be great to talk to him again. The two Dads, mine and Carol's were old school. Hard working, plain spoken, no frills men. What you saw was what you got. You didn't wonder what they were thinking because they told. You were told in no uncertain terms. Nothing was filtered to be politically correct. They are the kind of men you don't see much any more. So while I wish things were different and I could see them both again I count myself lucky every Fathers Day to have had them in my life.

I Knew Better

About 18 months ago we decided to go to the United States Department of Agriculture to discuss signing up for a forestry restoration project. We had harvested some trees on our property and had some acreage that had been farmed in the past. We felt it was too steep and too prone to erosion for row crops and we were not interested in pasturing farm animals. Growing trees and getting some cost share funds from the federal government seemed to be the way to go. Really, what could go wrong? I had worked for 32 years for local and state government. I could speak the bureaucratic language. I understood the need for hundreds of forms that no one cared about or looked at after they were signed. I would fill out my forms, do the work and then latch my lips on the ample busom of Lady Liberty and suck the cash out. I should have known better. Lady Liberty has minions who look over those forms to make sure that all the i's are dotted and all the t's are crossed. It seems to be a problem when the typist stutters and spells my first name Jerrrey and not Jeffrey. Jerrrey does not match the name on you SSI card. Access to Lady Liberty's busom of $$$$ is denied. We have made repeated trips to their offices to sign paperwork only to get a call the next day saying there is another form they need. Well meaning bureaucrats keep trying but are often confused by the tangled web of regulations they must enforce to protect the busoms of $$$$. We were told we didn't have to sign a plan modification in August. In December the same worker called me and asked why I hadn't signed the modification. I explained he had told me it was unnecessary. The response- that's right I remember that now. In March he called again and asked why I had not stopped by to sign the modification. Well, because you told me twice it was not necessary. His response, I don't know why I would say that it MUST be signed. The rule book for the program is a notebook about 4 inches think with three supplemental volumes of about 2 inches each. Do participants get a copy of the rules? Of course not. The rule book holds the keys to the lock that protects those cash filled busoms. So 18 months later, lots of dollars spent to complete work and comply with the plan and no $$$$ back from the USDA. The moral? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hawks

There are times in life that you just get lucky and are witness to a miracle. This isn't one of those OMG somebody's life got saved or changed, it's about seeing the magic of Mother Nature. We planted about 500 trees this spring down on the meadow at the bottom of the hill. My brothers were over and my younger bother David told me there was a stick nest in a tree part way up the hill. Would I have ever noticed it if he hadn't said something? The honest answer is probably not. It seems that most of the time I have a single minded purpose and intent. Always on my way to do something and doing my best not to be distracted along the way. It is my battle with attention deficit disorder. It is  far to easy for me to go off on a tangent. Look, a rock. Puppies. What's on TV tonight? Squirrel! I like hot dogs. It is my thought process if I let my mind go. Anyway this is my first picture of the nest of a Red Tail Hawk taken on April 4, 2012.

At this point there was an argument about what kind of bird it was between me and my younger brother. He had seen the mother bird and felt the nest and the bird were too large to be a Red Tail Hawk. It seemed to me that since there were very few other birds of prey in the area that built that type of nest it had to be a Red Tail Hawk. When a representative from the USDA was out to inspect my tree planting I pointed the nest out to him. He asked if the bird had a white head. I said no. He responded with good because if it did he would have to restrict my access to the meadow and I could do no work until the baby eagles left the nest. It is little wonder the people hate the government. Fortunately for me on May 14, 2012 Momma Red Tail gave me this indisputable evidence.

                            

It was clear at that point that there were young hawks in the nest that she was feeding. It had been impossible to get a picture of them at this point. It was always a difficult balancing act. Trying to get in the area to get a picture without disturbing her and the babies too much. This picture was taken the next day on May 15, 2012 when I caught this little guy or gal peering over the edge of the nest. We had babies and they were downy white.

Every time I went down to try to snap a few pictures Momma Hawk would circle overhead and screech at me. It would go on until I was back up the hill or moved off in a vehicle. If I was walking around the meadow it would continue the entire time I was down in the area.



Momma Hawk is tough to see in the picture above. She is very camera shy and I am thrilled I got a few shots of her on the nest. She would stay high above the trees keeping a watchful eye on her babies.

The picture above is of the young hawks taken on May 23, 2012. At this point they are noticably bigger but still downy white. The final picture taken on June 12, 2012 shows the young pair standing on the edge of the nest having a look at the world they will soon be flying over. What a handsome pair they are.

A few notes on the pictures. If you go back and scroll through them you may note the foliage has gotten thicker as the spring progressed. The hole I shot the pictures through got smaller every time and the nest harder to find in the trees. The pictures were all taken from over 100 feet away and the nest is about 60 feet up in an old oak tree. My camera is able to zoom to 40X and all these pictures were taken at the maximum. It is extremely difficult to locate the subject and hold the camera still enough to keep them in the frame. Overall I took about 250 pictures. The ones presented here represent the best of the 100 or so I saved. Finally, I love the english language. Everything has a name baby hawks included. A baby hawk is called an eyas. If you have more than one baby hawk they are referred to as eyases. The word is pronounced "EYE-ess". You may now impress your friends and family with new knowledge and perhaps score a point in a trivia game. 

Frustration

When I was a younger man I thought I knew all the answers. I had it all figured out. Now being older I am not sure if I even know the right questions. The answer to today's question is one that has perplexed me for a few years. What is worse? Being Stephen Hawking and having a body that doesn't work. Being Ronald Regan and having a mind that stopped working. Clearly both outcomes are horrors but is one worse than the other. I don't know. I have known people with various forms of dementia. I have never had a close friend who had ALS. Why the question? We recently got back from a cruise on the Disney Dream and it had been my intent to continue that story in today's blog. My mother in law accompanied us on the trip and she saw the doctor today. She has a variety of health problems which she denies. While, to be completely honest, she does not have dementia; she passed the test by one point. She clearly has some cognitive impairment. It is not something that people who have it admit. They never say "I have dementia!" it is always a constant state of denial. I might be normal but if I suggest something to her that doesn't match up with her confused memories then I am the one who is fucked up in the head. She went to have a followup with her cancer doctor last week and Carol and her ended up talking to one of my former coworkers from the prison. My coworker was there to get an iron injection. My mother in law insisted after the woman walked away that she was there for a lead injection. I think I would stay out of that HMO.
My mother in law has smoked for years and from time to time quits. She has started again after being diagnosed with COPD. She has now begun to deny the COPD and claims her death rattle cough is from her allergies and sinus. It was fun riding in a car with her for a 20 hour drive each direction from Illinois to Florida for vacation. Getting to listen to her trying to cough of a chunk of lung butter and then wanting to tell me about it when she was successful. Sorry, don't need those details. We tried to get her to buy some medication to deal with her cough and congestion after she told us she had left those medications at home. Off to a WalMart we went and after looking through all the cold and sinus medications she said they didn't carry her brand at that WalMart. What brand do you take? Hyvee! Well a store brand is a little tough to find when you are 5 states from the nearest store. Can't explain why she thought WalMart would carry another store's brand.
She went to the doctor today and was told she had COPD again and now needed inhalers and a prescription to help her stop smoking if she wanted to stop. She said she did but we will see. Carol tried to discuss her inappropriate behavior with her and she got defensive and argumentative. Said she  did not enjoy the cruise we took her on because it wasn't fun and she claimed she had told us she didn't want to go to the Bahamas.  Said it wasn't like other cruises she had been on and she had enjoyed them. There was too much walking. Food wasn't to her liking. Her roommate kept the room too cold. So here I am going, wow I paid for all this. The cruise, your motel rooms on the way, the gas for the car, the cruise excursions, basically everything. I don't get a thank you I get you didn't have a good time and you are pissed off. We took her on a cruise because she said she wanted to go on one again. I understand you have mental health issues that you deny. You claim we are trying to run your life. From today forward that won't be a problem. When you need something you can call and ask. If you don't ask I am not doing anything. As far as your mental health issues your daughter in Tennessee can handle all those concerns and set up your appointments. If you call we will give you a ride. You can call her and tell her about how your poop looks and what color it is and how you are worried about your liver. I officially don't give a shit about your shit.

Vacation 2

We got settled on the Disney Dream and set out of port about 5pm. Our rooms were on the aft of the ship and we had a large and comfortable balcony. We were happy to let the Captain see where we were going while we enjoyed the view of where we had been. We met our room steward Torino Torino. He was from Indonesia and said his real name was Torino. Disney had a policy that he had to have a last name so they just repeated his name on their paperwork. While he may not have the fame of Cher or Sting he was our single name celebrity for this trip. He proved to be a valued member of the crew and a great help to our group. Carol's mother Jackie suffers from dementia. She of  course denies it and how can you argue with her. She does well in situations that are familiar but this was a huge new experience. We had hoped that being on the aft of the ship would make it easier for her. She literally had the last room on the right hand corner of the ship. Walk down the hall to where it ends and open the last door on the right. Every day when she left the room unaccompanied Torino would find her wandering the hall headed in the wrong direction looking for her room. He would gracefully and kindly escort her back, get her settled in the room, get the TV on CNN and go back about his usual duties. Disney has an interesting system on the Dream. In order for the lights and television to operate you have to put your room key card in a slot by the door. If you don't do so then those things don't work. It is their plan to save energy. You have to have your key when you leave so you can get back in and it insures you cannot leave the TV and lights on when  you are out of the room. Torino showed Jackie this  several times but she just didn't get it. He would come to clean the room and she would be sitting on the deck because lights and TV wouldn't work. He would get everything going and she would go back in and watch CNN. If you want to have an interesting conversation have it about current news events with someone who watches CCN daily and has a mild case of dementia. It is enlightening.

The first evening meal we were assigned to table 30 in the Enchanted Garden. We met our servers Ean and Jose for the first time. They were from India and Columbia respectively. Ean was the head server for us and Jose was his assistant. This meant that Ean took the food orders, placed the plates of food on the table while Jose managed the drinks and removed the used dishes. Little did we know that first night what amazing men they were. Disney treats children like they are minature adults. Ean would get down on their level, look them in the eye and ask them what they wanted for their meal. If they named something that wasn't on the evening's menu Ean would write it down and when the meals showed up what that child  had ordered was on the plate. The first night the girls ordered orange juice, milk and chocolate milk for their drinks. Every night after that when we got to our table the drinks were waiting on them with their names written on the lids. Every night after our food was ordered and delivered to our table Ean would bring us a plate with one of the choices no one had made so we could sample it. On our second visit to Castaway Cay we went to lunch and Ean was working bussing tables at the Cookie's BBQ. The menu was hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled chicken and various fruits and salads along with potato chips. Ean stopped at our table and chatted for a minute or two then asked if we would like some french fries. We should have know better than to say that there were none. After all it was an open kitchen and we did not see a fryer. About 10 minutes later Ean shows up with a family sized plate of french fries and tells us to enjoy them. There were plenty of jealous heads turned our direction has we enjoyed some hot fresh fries.

The picture is of the amazing Ean and our granddaughters Vannessa, Johnnie and Audrey. Disney is a giant corporation and the Disney Dream is a huge ship but the key to the success of both is the dedication and hard work of people like Ean and Jose. They were friendly, polite, considerate, efficient and the  hundred other things you look for in outstanding employees. Their dedication and the hard work of hundreds of other crew members made this more than a vacation, it was the experience of a lifetime. The thing that really helped make it special is that the Dream has three themed dining rooms and over the course of the five day cruise you eat at all of them. When you change dining rooms your servers go with you so you don't have to deal with someone new. It helped us to get to know Ean and Jose and made them better able to do their jobs. It cannot  be overstated that Disney seems to have looked at everything and provides it without the consumer having to ask. It is incredible. 

Vacation

On Thursday May 24, 2012 we set out for the vacation experience of a lifetime. We were a large group consisting of Carol, Jeff, Jackie (Carol's Mom) John, Mandie, Vannessa, Audrey, Johnnie and Crystol (Mandie's Mom). We had discussed leaving on Friday morning but decided to get some miles in Thursday night. We left about 8:30 pm figuring the kids would sleep and it would be a quiet drive. That proved to be correct. I started calling at about 11:30 trying to get a room in Mt. Vernon, Illinois but alas there were none to be had. We ended up in Marion, Illinois at a dumpy Comfort Inn but who cares we were all exhausted. The next morning it was back on the road with visions of making it somewhere south of Atlanta, Georgia. The driving was smooth and the kids reasonably well behaved until we hit Nashville,Tennessee. There was a long backup of vehicles for no apparent reason. When we finally cleared that it was smooth sailing until we got to Atlanta, Georgia the place where all cars go to park. I have never driven through there without a lengthy wait. As a side story along the way we stopped for lunch at a place I picked called Two Purple  Pigs BBQ. The name was better than the food. I can honestly say that the hot dog one of the kids ordered was without question the worst thing I have ever eaten. Really folks how do you fuck up a hot dog? We ended up spending the night in Valdosta, Georgia leaving about a four hour drive the next day to get to Cape Canveral, Florida. We got  there early on Saturday so the kids got to enjoy the motel swimming pool and the adults got to relax. Carol. Jackie, Crystol and I decided to go to Port Canaveral to a place called Grills Bar. Carol had heard the food was good and it was a fun place. We got there and found out it was a 60 minute wait for a table and they were out of pagers. We decided to wait and after several trips to the hostess station I just stood there and waited until someone turned in a pager. We finally got seated and the food was excellent. I took this picture of the place as we went by on the Disney Dream on Sunday.

Please note that the kitchen vent faces the water so the public cannot see the less than appealing grease slick running down the roof into the water. Maybe a little cleaning is in order.

Sunday morning we got up and headed for the Disney Dream. Here is our first view of the ship. She is a beauty.





We proceeded to the port and I will now eat some of my words from a prior post. Disney has absolutely the most amazing customer service I have experienced anywhere at any time. We have sail with the chaos that is Carnival Cruise Line and after this experience never with them again.

Before we got on the ship John, Mandie, Vannessa, Audrey and Johnnie had the opportunity to have their family picture taken with Minnie Mouse. As you can see I think they have already determined this is the best vacation ever and we are not on the ship yet

The next order of business was lunch since no one can go to their stateroom yet. It was a buffet lunch and in all honesty I avoid those like the plague. They are places where you get lots of food that you would rather not eat. This was that one in a thousand exception. All the peel and eat shrimp Forest Gump could provide, proschuitto warpped salmon, roast beef sliced to order and for a fee all the beer a fat man could drink. When you think it can't get any better you see this.

In case you are not sure that is Cinderella. She is not too busy to stop and talk to our three little princesses and see if they are enjoying their stay. She wonders how their day is going. They don't think it can get any better than this, but it does. That however is a story for another day.

Remember When

Today I had planned on writing about our recently completed family vacation to Florida for a ride on the amazing Disney Dream Cruise Ship. Then I looked at the calendar and realized that today is the 4th of June and I had something else that I needed to write about. June 4, 1971 Carol agreed to go out with me on our first date. We went to see the movie Ryan's Daughter. I will confess that I remember nothing of the movie and have never attempted to watch it again. I just remember sitting in the West Theater in downtown Galesburg sitting in the dark holding the hand of the most beautiful girl I knew. If you know me then you know I had a hundred worries in my head. Is my hand to sweaty? Do I have bad breath? What if I pass gas? What if I say something stupid or rude? Damn this is  a long movie. I've got to be home by 10:30. Wonder if I should try to kiss her when I take her back home. Well 41 years later I guess you could say the date went ok. The closest picture I could lay my hands on today this one taken in the summer of 1974.

I think it was taken at her birth parents home in Lexington, Kentucky.  Based on my photograph it is clear I was quite smitten with this woman.

Please note the matching shirt. She had me dressing like her at this point. I should have known how hopelessly in love I was.  I guess I couldn't pull off the white pants so I got  to wear jeans. By the way on that trip I didn't get to pull off her white  pants either.



The last photograph is our engagement picture. I was lucky to get her to consent to be my wife. While there have been many ups and downs over the years we have stayed together and chosen to remember the good times and forget the bad. I could not have asked for a better friend, wife, mother of our children, and the hundred other things she is to me every day. I just look at these pictures now and DAMN we were YOUNG back then. When I close my eyes that is still the girl I see in my dreams.