Play Ball

Today it is a break from quilts and time for me to complain about professional baseball. For some reason Major League Baseball has determined it is necessary to institute rules to regulate the pace of the game. The feeling was that play was going to slow. Batters stepping out of the batters box between pitches, too many warm up throws by pitchers between innings. In some ways I understand the problem and why they are working on a solution. It seems to me the problem is night baseball. You start a game late in the evening say 7:30 or so and it goes extra innings or there are lots of hits and runs play could go on past midnight. Not good for fans especially those who bring their kids. I think however the folks who made the rule miss the point. Baseball is there to slow our lives down. It is there to make us relax. We want to sit in the afternoon sun with a cold beer in our left hand and a warm hot dog with all the trimmings in our right hand. We want to sit in the left field bleachers and yell at the first base umpire a hundred yards away that he missed the call. Maybe complain that the home plate umpire wouldn't know a strike if the pitcher actually threw one. If play speeds up we don't have time to think of those catchy phrases that amuse and delight (or disgust) those around us. Baseball is worried about the speed of the action? Have they watched professional football? At least 75% of that game is watching huge guys stand around in a circle trying to figure out what to do next. At least with baseball most of the guys are sitting in a dugout eating sunflower seeds, spitting and making fun of each other and everyone else. So a baseball game takes 3 hours, or 4 or 5 hours. Who cares. I'm sitting in a seat that cost me $50.00 eating a hotdog that cost me 5 times what it is worth and drinking a $10.00 beer. Take your time. Let me sit back and savor the moment. Slow down the maddening pace of modern life and enjoy a game that is completely and uniquely American. Played here by the best players in the world. Millions of little kids dream of being professional baseball players. About 700 make the big league. The average career only lasts a few years. So the game goes slow. Big fucking deal. Let's all sit back and enjoy the slower pace of yesteryear. Play ball! Take your sweet time, I'm having a cold beer and a hot dog over here. I've got all day.