Monday, February 13, 2012

Girl Scout Cookies


I have spent most of my life fat. You could be politically correct and say things like overweight or obese but the truth is FAT. I get gifts from friends like Fat Bastard wine. It doesn't offend me, or at least not enough to make me lose weight. Yeah, ok, maybe I die young because I am fat. Maybe I die in a motorcycle accident. When it is my time it will be my time and I think nothing can be done to change what will happen. It won't matter to me anyway because I will be dead. I have no reliable sources but I think when you are dead you don't care much about anything. If I have the opportunity I will let you know. What does that have to do with Girl Scout Cookies? Dear God people Girl Scout Cookies are like crack cocaine for fat people. We wait all year for the chance to stock up our freezers and hope the supply lasts until those little bitches decide to sell again. Why the attachment to Girl Scout Cookies? It is simple, they are guilt free. When I buy cookies at the grocery store I am just a fat guy buying cookies and perhaps hastening his own death. When I buy Girl Scout Cookies I am helping young women develop life skills and self esteem. It is probably not the best idea to help them develop self esteem since it will make them less likely to date the fat boys in their future. Oh well. Yes girls I will do my civic duty and buy your cookies. Since I see them as crack cocaine I thought the picture above was appropriate. If I don't buy cookies they may actually come back later and burn down my house.
Do your part, don't let a good girl go bad. Buy some of those damn cookies!!!!!!!

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